He left for home and I can't let go?

I started this thing with my housemate last October and it was meant to be a no strings attached thing, but I got too attached. More attached than him probably. Middle of May he told me he was going home to his country in hope to get work there. His stay here was meant to be only temporary and who could've known he would meet into his house and that we would start something a few years later?! When he told me he'd leave I felt like someone was stabbing my chest. I was absolutely gutted the last few days he was here and he could see how much of a hard time I had. He once said that it was actually more of a relationship what we had. (HIS words!) We never used the L word, but to hear it was actually more than just a fling, was nice. It actually made him sad to see me so sad and constantly sobbing, Because he never intended of hurting me. Once he said I should try to forget him. But I can't. I felt constantly sick the last few days -coinciding with stress in the job- and one day felt so sick, threw up, so I called in sick in work. He was was worried I'd risk my job, but I felt as sick as a dog -and I rarely ever get sick! I took half a day off to see him off on the airport. I was so hard to let him go. Few days after he left he came up with the idea that I could visit him for a weekend so that would cheer me up and that's what I did. It was like back in the olden days. Everyone tells me time will heal, but I just can't get over him. I know I cannot always fly back and forth, so in long time there is no real chance for a future. It normally takes me rather long to form attachments with guys -most guys I dated were the "ah well he's nice, but that's it" type, and I kept HIM hanging in there a while as well, but now I am hopelessly lost. I miss him every day and now I am mad at myself for having him "courting" me so long before agreeing. If I had only known how precious time would be I would have agreed earlier and we could've ,made more memories... I know down there is his home country and his family, his grandparents need him as his gran is going through a rough patch health wise, but there's something selfish in me that wishes it had all turned out different like home finding a job here or that there was a chance to work something out -clinging to straws I know-. We chat almost every day. There might be a chance that we could meet again, but it is still some time away -still that tiny hope keeps me going, although facing the fact that in long terms there is no way is shattering me again. I just don't know what to do. He's the best that ever happened to me, he made me so much of a better person. I don't feel like dating again right now - it would seem like trying hard to get over him, but tbh. I don't really want to. Please no comments about "ah yeah women always get attached so easily", Because I don't and those comments don't help. I know he misses me too. :-( I am just desperate. What do you say about this?


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What Guys Said 1

  • there's really nothing special to say about this.

    you just need to accept that it's over. and you simply need to move on. that's it. sure, it hurts. it will take some time.

    but I would point 2 things out;

    1. if he would really care about you i.e. love you, he would stay. period. so this thing is obviously one sided.

    2. I don't think that you're doing yourself a favor talking to him every day.

    • He does care and he often says how nice it would be if I was there right now. It wouldn't have been fair to hold him back from leaving, just because I am havin a hard time. :-(

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