How does a girl address questions about 'the future' without freaking a guy out?

I'm in my mid-30's and would like to settle down, but can certainly wait for the right person - I'm not on a timeline. Guys I have dated over the past few years have asked me if I want to settle down, have kids, etc. I'm often hesitant to give the real answer for fear they think I need it all to happen right away. When guys comment about kids, sometimes I bite my tongue and refrain from responding at all. I am domestic enough as it is and guys have always viewed me as the "settle down" type...but these days, I can't get past a 4th date because it is such a sensitive issue. I'd rather be totally honest but let guys know that I'm not in a hurry instead of clamming up and leaving them to wonder what I'm thinking. What is your advice?


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  • I would say what you just said. I always was clear about it by stating "If I find the right guy I would love to settle down and have kids. This is all after we have built a strong foundation as a couple." I never scared guys away because I made it clear to mention wanting to find the right guy first. Plus a lot of men I know your age are wanting to have kids and settle down as well.