Is it really worth dating at my age?

Okay so I'm 19 taking a break after graduating high school so that's basically the age range of it all.

I'm dating this guy whom I used to work with. I initiated talking to him because it was two weeks before I started working so I might as well make a friend. I happened to be in his lane, we exchanged a few words he seemed cool. I start working...he shows signs that he's interested...all I was thinking is he isn't my type so I kept it out of my head but he grew on me so...after awhile we made it official...


The first date I planned it was fun and all so I told him the next one he's got but...there hasn't been a next one...I mean he visits my house often times and we chill and talk but...I feel like asking to want to go on more dates and he's not willing to do brings up stuff from my first relationship like after I made it official the guy didn't call as much as he used to or even tried to do anything for Christmas or Valentine's day...

I know my value shouldn't be in the hands of any man but I'm starting to feel like man do guys feel like I'm not worth the effort or something? I mean I'm not clingy for the life of me so I give him space, I'm pretty chill, understanding...unlike most girls I don't play the guess why I'm upset I try to talk things out.

With my current boyfriend anytime I tried to confront it he tries to avoid it and he shuts down. I explain it calmly I don't make it seem like it's his fault I even ask what he feels I can do better in the relationship so it doesn't seem like I'm nagging...

I'm not going to make it seem like he's the bad guy because he really isn't , he's funny as hell, nice, he was my first and all that cool jazz. I mean it could be how he was brought up because sometimes I do get a little back story about him growing up and not having anyone to talk to so he's not sure how exactly to communicate emotions and having been cheated on twice but I don't know...I don't feel like a date every so often is asking for too much...I know two relationships isn't enough experience but I'm starting to feel like I have bad choice or no guy might find me worth the extra mile :/ Please serious comments thank you because I really feel conflicted


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What Guys Said 2

  • "I don't play the guess why I'm upset." -- pure gold. There should be national award ceremonies held for women with this virtue.

    Ok, sorry now that is out of the way I'll try to answer your question :)

    I think your assessment is good and you are in touch with what is going on -- his communication abilities suffer. He may learn them from you, if he's willing or wants to leave his comfort zone and attempt a new mode of communication. Remember most people are comfortably miserable. Even still, it would be a lot of time from you in the showing process and there could be hurtful lashing outs in the process, and may set a precedent for you to be the leader in the relationship (that is neither good or bad, it just would be - depending how comfortable you are with that).

    If he is unwilling, or you don't have the time for it, then you may have to let him down gracefully and set your sails for more oceans.

    To answer your question-within-a-question, "Is it really worth dating at m[y] age?" - the answer is yes. The years are not kind to both men or women. Do it in your physical prime. There are many other reasons, as well.

  • don't date, just get casual.

    • So emphasis on"keeping it casual" does that mean FWBs?

    • something like that. don't label/put a meaning into everything. just allow it to happend by going with the flow and trusting the univurse.

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