Looking for opinions from girls: Are my physical issues as big of a deal as I think they are?

Sorry for the vague title, but I couldn't think of how to word it any better. Also, I apologize ahead of time for making this long, but there are a lot of details.

Anyways, I had back surgery a few years ago, and some mistakes made during the operation left me with spinal cord damage. I'm able to walk, but not run, and I walk with a limp that varies from hardly to very noticeable. The limp isn't due to pain, but due to muscle in my right leg being spastic, so when I step my leg stays flexed for a bit when I try to bend it. Unfortunately, when I get nervous (like when talking to cute girls) it gets worse, to the point where my limp is obvious.

The other major problem is sweating. I no longer regulate my body temp well and don't really sweat from the chest down, so I get hot easily. This causes me to sweat profusely from my shoulders up. Again, this problem is exaggerated when I get nervous (alcohol helps calm me, but can't be drinking every time I want to talk to a girl).

So I will approach a girl, and if it is warm at all in the room, I might sweat a bit. Then I feel self conscious and nervous about the sweating and the limp, and both get worse.

These have really made it difficult for me to approach women, and so I am curious about what the women on this site think. If I approached you, you noticed my limp, and may (or may not) notice me sweating a bit from my forehead, would you instantly be turned off by it? Or am I blowing this out of proportion and still have a shot at a convo and maybe a phone number if it goes well?

Oh, and please be honest about how you'd react if you didn't know the details I provided above.

Thank you,



Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm gonna be honest, It could be a distraction for the girl or make the situation a little uncomfortable at first. You just need to pull her attention away from that by being confident.

    I'm gonna tell you one of my shallow secrets that I think a lot of other girls have too. Please don't judge it's just a preference of mine. I am a tall girl, around 5'6 and when I go out I like to wear pumps or something cute with a little heel. I usually don't date guys who are shorter than me. Well one night I went out with some of my friends to a club. It seemed like all the guys at the club that night were really short. I had just finished shutting down 2 guys that were way to short for me, when this other short guy came up to me. I was just gonna ignore him but he came up to me with confidence, started a conversation, paid me a sweet complement and then I noticed that he was a really nice guy. We had a lot of stuff in common and I found him attractive. I danced with him all night, I gave him my number and we started dating. We dated for close to four months then decided to just be friends.

    It's all in how you present your self, be confident, sweet, funny and you can have any girl.

    other tips: Bring a bandanna with you and wipe your face before you walk up to the girl so you can feel more confident. Also don't worry so much, If it's hot then she's probably sweating too. Every single girl you wanna talk to is gonna have insecurities of her own so you just have to keep that in mind. I'm sure you'll find a girl that's right for you.

    Good luck! :)

    • I'm hoping once I get past the initial approach fear I'll be able to at least hold their attention. I like to think of myself as being sweet and funny, its just the confidence I struggle with. Thank you for the advice!

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What Girls Said 4

  • I may be curious but it wouldn't be instantly turned away. It may not be similar or helpful, but I have a twitch (nerve damage) that can very from looking like a cold chill to...well I actually almost accidentally stabbed someone at dinner. I have noticed that people don't mind. Sometimes I go ahead and tell them if they obviously notice. After a while the people I'm around even the guy I like don't even really notice anymore...its just me. Maybe it helps!

    • Curious is OK, I never have any problem talking about it. It definitely provides a conversation topic, even if the conversation isn't a very long one. But thank you for the reply, and its a relief hearing you would give me a chance to chat.

  • I'd think you were a bit weird, but that would be alright, because I'm weird too. I'd ask you about the limping, and if you started to sweat a lot, I would ask about that too. Haha, I'm not known to be subtle. After I'm informed of your situation, it wouldn't be a problem for me.

  • I'll be honest.. your body sounds pretty interesting XD Like cool interesting lol Nah, I would be fine with you coming up to me. Although, you have got to be able to talk to me and impress me with yourself. Make me laugh and show me that you can have a good time ha ha Odds are with that I will totally be interested in you:)

    hmm, an extrememly active girl that likes to be on the go and hangs out in the mountains might not be interested though :/

    • I try to be as active as possible. I go four wheeling, snorkeling and if I have a dive buddy I also scuba dive. But I definitely wouldn't be able to keep up with the extremely athletic outdoorsy girls who have to always be on the go though.

      And thank you, nice to hear you'd be more intrigued than weirded out.

  • I think you're worrying way too much. Then again, I have issues as well, and I'm used to Wong around people with really serious stuff.

    But no, I wouldn't be bothered.


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