Do you actually change so that the person you like will like you back?

I know most people advocate being yourself, but there are those who would willingly change so that the person they like will like them back. Has that ever happened to you? How exactly did you change? Was it for the better better or for worse?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Your ability to adapt and compromise is also a part of yourself. Everybody goes through that when they find that special someone, some just compromise more than they should, and others don't compromise enough.

    For me...the changes motivated by exs' were:

    my weight (30% body fat to 12% body fat)

    my attitude (used to have depression but I've since learned to tell that condition to F off. I'm smiling 95% of the time now)

    quit drugs (was a daily user, quit cold turkey 5 years ago)

    much more open (looking back...I was a total closet case and blame my friends for not kicking my A for it)

    just a much better person overall.

    Everybody is constantly changing. Your character as a whole doesn't change too drastically, but every second that goes by is changing you. Every interaction with a person shapes your view of people in general (or specific if you're like that). Whether those changes are for the better or worse depends on the people we surround ourselves with:

    Sensible people - Positive view

    Pessimist - Negative view

    more but...I just nodded off while typing this. Gnight. xD

    • Just to add real quick, the first 2 and 4th changes were for my first girlfriend, 3rd one was for new ex.

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What Guys Said 2

  • changes which will help me improve yes why not one can try it for a love one he can be our parents,frnds or some1 else ...but changes which are just to be like them and degrading oneself like doing drugs or flirting or smoking or any other idiotic stuff no never

    • So if you change for the better do you actually do it for the person you like or because you genuinely want to do it for yourself?

    • Take it like this,"my mom wanted me to adopt time management at first I did it so as to make her happy but after that it became a habit and so now I'm also doing it keeping my own self improvement in my mind along with my love for my mom"

  • Yes, but within certain limitations.

    There are things which are reasonable to be changed, but there also are things which must not be compromised.

    • What do you think are reasonable changes and what things are non-negotiables?

    • It's very individual, there is no universal set of those things which apply to everyone.

      But generally it's not acceptable to be dishonest to yourself in order to feign similarity to the other person, for example sayin that you "also like that hobby" or "that band" although you actually don't or even hate it.

      Such kind of thing always backfires and nobody should do that.

    • Yeah, I agree with you there. I don't think pretending to be someone that you're not is great, even if it's something as shallow as liking a certain band or even just a song. Like what shumailkazimi said, it would be great if you changed for the better, but not so much if you ended up being worse or if you faked something just to try to catch someone's attention.

What Girls Said 2

  • I've known many girls that adjust themselves to their bfs. It usually doesn't work out because eventually you're going to pop out and they'll think you've "changed" but in reality that's who you are and what they've known you to be is a complete front.

    I feel that it's crucial to stick to being yourself and you'll find people that you have more potential with instead of wasting your time playing pretend, or even changing yourself.

  • no I mean I would be on good behavior but I can't change who I am, my views or opinions for someone else, because that's me.