Asking for advice on other girls vs Talking about other girls. Is it different?

Hey guys!

I was wondering:

when talking to a "girl friend" about other girls, can you tell there's is a difference between

-actually asking advice (like what to do, what is she thinking, what would you suggest)


-just talking about how things are going on (do you consider it to make a girl jealous?)

Or is it all the same? Talking about other girls (no matter what) = you're in friendzone?


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • If Girl A is your girlfriend, as in romance, and you want to ask questions about other Girl B (or C, or D, etc.) it's up to you to know her well enough to know if she minds it -- that is, feels threatened by or jealous of the fact that you even notice other women, let alone have questions about them -- which you should be able to figure out either by just asking her if it would bother her or picking up on her tone and body language when you ask about others. If it's a turn off for her I would drop it, although, personally, her insecurity would be a yellow flag for me.

    If you're feeling neglected or are just a manipulative jerk and are therefore trying to make her feel jealous and respond by focusing more of her attention on you, then signs that she's bothered are what you're looking for.

    As for me, though, trying to incite jealously in order to get more attention just screams of the fact that you're insecure in yourself, and therefore in the relationship. If she responds jealously, ditto then for her. So, she might respond the way you want, but then you've also set yourself up to have her play the same card on you, AND you've helped move the relationship onto the shaky ground of mutual insecurity and desire to own/control each other, in other words, weakness instead of strength.

    Why get what you want by making the relationship weaker in its essence when there're more positive ways of getting her attention, like doing positive romantic things or accomplishing things in your personal or professional life that she admires and will be attracted to?

    Even if jealousy is at the core of your relationship, If you approach your questions about other females in the rather abstract terms of just trying to get to know women better, and therefore her, you might be able to ask questions about other women to your heart's content and gain both insight and brownie points for doing so.

    • Oh,I was referring a guy talking to a girl who is also your friend, and not actuallty talking to your girlfriend (romantic sense) about other girls.

      Like if you would be interested in someone and still doing it, not being in a relationship with her.

      But I agree and liked your opinion. I strongly thinks jealousy weakens a relationship and turns it, someway, a bit manipulative or psychotic.

      I know a very few cases that are not affected by it, in fact.

      Thank you!

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