Can you love someone and not be over your ex at the same time?

So this guy told me he's in love with me two months ago, we're not together though, but we're really close. Yesterday, he told me he's in a bad mood so I asked why he said he found a CD that his ex made and he's never listened to it and it has their picture on it. I didn't know what to do or how to react so I told him "I don't know what to say to be honest."

Can he be in love with me but still not over her? I don't get it... I really do love him but this scares me!


Most Helpful Girl

  • I'll divide my answer into two parts to answer two different questions you asked.

    First of all, there is a difference between "being in love with an ex" i.e. he still loves her and would get back with her if she wanted to and the fact that he is not over her yet which can be due to a lot of different reasons. Feeling sad for seeing an old picture isn't equivalent to being in love with her. He might have remembered bad memories or even good memories of her. He might have been surprised and that's it. He might have remembered the pain he caused her and the pain she caused for him.

    It might be a lot of different reasons as to why he felt sad/surprised or simply unfomfortable. If it happened to me, I would feel the same. I wouldn't feel comfortable at all even though I'm over him and I rarely think about him.

    So, my point is that there's a difference between having mixed feelings caused by a surprising incident and the fact that you still love someone. Does he love her still? You should ask him this question. Don't waste your time wondering. Just ask. Ask him if he wants to get back with her if there's a chance. Don't make it look like an interrogation. Just ask a simple question in the middle of a light conversation.

    Can someone love someone but still not over their ex? Yes, it's possible. A lot of people search for a new love once they breakup because they feel lonely or for the desire to feel wanted and loved. This of kind of "love" isn't particurarly genuine. It might be intense at first but then fades away soon after. I'm not saying he's like that though.

    You can certainly love someone even though you're still carrying some wounds from a past relationship. You can certainly love someone even though you're keeping good memories of an ex in a special place in your heart. The key is whether they want to get back with their ex or not if there's still a chance.

    All in all, just have a little chat with him when he feels better. It is all about good communication. You have all the right to make sure he wants you because he truly loves you.

    Hope this helps. :)


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