Should I ask her for example "What are you looking for in a guy?"


I am trying to get with a girl I have a crush on. The thing is we don't see each other so often, as she is rarely in town (she lives pretty far, but comes here sometimes to visit her sister, but is also planning to go to college here), so we talk mostly over the internet. We are planning on maybe taking a pretty long trip together in August, but that is not sure yet.

She probably suspects that I have some feelings for her, and maybe shares them too, but I never had the courage to ask her, or to take any definitive steps. I wanted to slowly build it up and maybe give her little hints until now, but I don't think this "technique" is the right one for the guy, and I have noticed that she is probably trying to give me small hints too, but am not sure.

I want to take a more definitive step now, but also nothing too much, as I think we need to get to know each other a bit better, and I find it somehow weird over the internet. I want to ask something that would not "creep her out", something that she would definitively understand as an approach, but could at the same time ignore and answer casually, thereby telling me she is not interested, at least not at the time.

Should I ask her for example "What are you looking for in a guy?".

Do you maybe have other suggestions?

Or am I thinking and worrying too much, and should maybe take a different approach?

Thanks in advance! :)


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • The direct approach is always best, but if you want something a little less obvious, asking her what she's looking for is also alright.


What Guys Said 1

  • In my opinion, you should take a different approach. You should just ask them out, train for rejection if you can, then just ask her to a date or something. The biggest problem is always fear of rejection but all the tricks I've tried only made things worse. If you ask that question you might as well ask her out since it's about as blunt, she will know what your intentions are very obviously.

    • The thing is, as I stated, she lives pretty far away, and we do meet every time she is here, but I don't really want to wait until the next time we meet, so as not to miss the chance (she recently split up with her bf). So I can't really ask her on a date. :) Thanks anyway :)