New guy hesitant to commit officially?

I met a new guy about a month ago and things have been progressing into what I thought would be a committed relationship. However, he just started his first year of residency at a hospital and is very busy. He calls and texts me daily and I see him several times during the week and mostly all weekend. Our current label is "dating each other" and we pretty much act like bf/gf. He's introduced me to his roommate and close friends. What bothers me is that all his friends keep asking him if we're official and he keeps saying he's not ready to commit and he's told me as well. We did talk a few days ago about our status and he told me he wants things to move forward between us. I'm not sure how much longer I can keep our relationship this way. I don't want to pressure him but he can't have ALL the perks of being in a relationship without actually being in one. I'm thinking I should lay low for a few days and distance myself to see if he changes his mind about committing. Am I right or wrong in doing this?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Don't give him any more perks of a relationship. Pull back from him and make him less of a priority. why should this guy take up so much of your time and energy if he isn't giving you what you want? Go out and meet other guys. He'll know what's up and he can either sh*t or get off the pot. If he wants to keep you then he should step up, if not then step aside for a man who wants the same thing as you. Don't let him get too comfortable and don't act like you're his girlfriend if you're not. he still should have to work for it. keep him on his toes

    • His friends say the same thing, "Shit or get off the pot!" lol! And again I don't want him to take advantage of the situation and think "Why should I commit when I'm happy with how things are going?" Both of you girls have valid points! ;) Thanks!

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What Guys Said 1

  • You're wrong...why do you NEED to be ''official''? You're together and he says he wants things to move forward with you. So calm down woman! Why do you absolutely need to label what you have ASAP and not just enjoy each others company period? Leave the guy some time until he IS ready and don't ''force'' him to take action by laying low...

    • I am enjoying every minute with him, however I don't want to invest too much time when our relationship isn't definite. I'm not forcing him to take any action, but I'm going to reserve certain aspects of how I act when in a relationship. Does that make sense?

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    • I agree after taking some time to think about the situation. I made plans this weekend w/o him just to have time with my friends and he was taken aback and was kinda shocked I didn't want to spend all my free time with him. Now he keeps asking me if we can get together Sunday. I don't want to fall into a routine or be too available. I think in showing him this he sees that I have a life outside of our budding relationship!

    • Just wanted to update, he asked me last Sunday to be his gf! :) It was exactly a month that we first met. Very happy! :)

What Girls Said 2

  • it has only been a month and things already did move very fast, give it some time

    • I agree! To be honest, previous bf's were more aggressive so I'm not use to his passive approach.

  • That guys answer is sh*t. You don't give rides to people who haven't paid for a ticket yet, catch my drift. I'd say pull back and distance yourself a bit.

    • "You don't give rides to people who haven't paid for a ticket yet"

      I love that