I need to save my relationship?

i have been with my boyfriend for over two years now we have a little boy together and I just can't seem to trust him he says jess never cheated but wen I was pregnant he planned to go meet another girl he promised me he wouldn't go and he didn't but he has planned to do it again and when I asked him about it he said that he wasn't planning to actually go and also lately I found that he had been texting the person he was with before me I confronted him and he said he just wanted to talk to her! am I stupid for believing him I really want to trust him but can't we had the best relationship before this and want us to work what can I do?

Don't take this the wrong way but it's nice to know that I'm not the only person this has happened to and thank you for the advice x


Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm going to say something really hurtful so decide now if you want to read further. I know that pain and want to give you a heads up.

    If you want to read this then take a breath. He's probably already done it. If I was a betting person I would put a lot of money on the fact that he's already done it.

    Love is an action word and we know it by someone's actions, never their words. When someone loves you they never confuse you like this guy is doing. You won't be able to fix this. It's time to quietly walk away.

    After you take the time to grieve, focus on yourself and your son.

    I'm tearing up thinking how much it hurts to do this, but you can do it.

    I'm sorry.

    • I read it and yes it hurts a fink a know that but a don't want it to be true so a just keep hoping it will go away! Just wish a could understand why and .for what you said at the end maybe a will just do that me and ma little boy deserve better a would miss him so much but bet that won't hurt as bad as it does now x thank angie x

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  • HI,

    I am sorry to hear your story. Please also read mine and give me insight as we are all here for that. Upon reading your story I have to say I completely understand you. In my previous relationship of 10 years I was caught in the same situation. I caught my ex with plans of meeting up with another girl, but then he will always say he really wasn't going to do it. Till this day I do not know if thatwas trur or not. But, to my suspecion he was lying because I did "play out" as another girl once and set him up to go meet up and he did. Obvoiusly this brought us down completely. After that we broke up and got back together for like a year but once that trust was broken it was over. My insight to you is a little different because you have a son with him. Children should always be the main priority. I think you need to sit down with him and have a really mature talk. I do not recommend you do what I do and play out a role because you may end up with more pain than anything else like I did. After I did that I told myself, somethings are better left alone and not provoked. But I couldn't take my curiosity. In your case I would say sit with him and tell him how you feel. Explain that he is not obligated to be with you, so you just want his honesty of what he wants. You do not want to be lied to or get hurt. I would also recommend you try to do something to spark up your relationship. I have no children but I have heard how things slow down after having kids. Perhaps you can help spark things up so he remembers why he is with you in the first place and doesn't have any temptation to go out there to meet up with others. Wish you the best, and please read my story and let me know what do you think. Good Luck!

    • I thought about doing what you did but as you said I don't want to be hurt anymore! Why do they plan to do it if they say they wouldn't go through with it? You say your not with him anymore did that make you feel better about yourself I have a lot of self confidence issues now through this I love him but am finding it hard to trust him now I found all this out by looking at his phone because I knew something was up and now he has a lock on it which makes me wonder even more!

    • Honeslty I did not feel any better when we broke up. As much pain as I was in I went into this cycle where I still wanted to be with him despite the fact that I couldn't trust him. I myself have had many self confidence issue although I am an average thin girl. But it was too toxic as I was already paranoid at every step he took. He said we couldn't live that way and ended it for good. I was so hurt I went into depression. I understand how him with a ps now makes you fell. Its hard and I know it.

  • Him planning to do it is not much different from actually doing it

    • Exactly, even if he hasn't done anything with these girls, he's certainly thinking about it and that's bad enough. His heart isn't fully in this relationship and that's not fair to you

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