I dated this sociopathic girl on and off for the last 3 years...she was cunning and manipulative..despite the horrible sh*t she did to me I would always take her back. She didn't honestly care about me...but was so convincing at the time that she did. I am wondering if any of you were left feeling no closure from an abusive relationship with a sociopath. I feel no closure.. I just didn't understand how she could pretend she loved me and then just turn away and be with someone else without a care in the world. It makes me feel helpless that there is no justice for this kind of behavior or closure.
Glibness and Superficial Charm
Manipulative and Conning
Grandiose Sense of Self
Feels entitled to certain things as "their right."
Has no problem lying coolly and easily and it is almost impossible for them to be truthful on a consistent basis.
Lack of Remorse, Shame or Guilt
When they show what seems to be warmth, joy, love and compassion it is more feigned than experienced and serves an ulterior motive.
Incapacity for Love
Need for Stimulation
Living on the edge. Verbal outbursts and physical punishments are normal. Promiscuity and gambling are common.
Callousness/Lack of Empathy
Poor Behavioral Controls/Impulsive Nature
Rage and abuse, alternating with small expressions of love and approval produce an addictive cycle for abuser and abused, as well as creating hopelessness in the victim.
Early Behavior Problems/Juvenile Delinquency
Not concerned about wrecking others' lives and dreams.
Promiscuous Sexual Behavior/Infidelity
Lack of Realistic Life Plan/Parasitic Lifestyle
Tends to move around a lot or makes all encompassing promises for the future, poor work ethic but exploits others effectively.
Criminal or Entrepreneurial Versatility
Changes their image as needed to avoid prosecution. Changes life story readily.
Most Helpful Girl
I recently got out of a quasi relationship with someone similar. We dated back in Nov and early Dec but then we had some problems. Didn't see him all of Jan, then started hanging out again Feb-May. During those last 4 months we weren't dating or having sex but we were extremely intimate emotionally & physically (in a nonsexual way). He said he loved me, I was his best friend, he depended on me and I believed him.
However, all along there was a much younger girl he was interested in. They became a couple mid-Feb but I didn't learn of that until late Mar. I tried to pull back on the physical affection stuff because of this but it didn't last. She lived far away & was very busy so they rarely saw each other (bout 1x month). I, on the other hand, was there 3-4 nights/wk. We both enjoyed our closeness and the affection so much it was hard to resist. And he kept saying there was nothing wrong with it, I stupidly believed him again. But at the beginning of May, the girlfriend gave him her virginity and yet he continued with me. He hid my stuff from her, refused to tell her I was there all the time, even let her take a painting I did w/o telling her he didn't paint it - she basically knew nothing of me.
By the end of May I couldn't take it anymore. I gave back his key, and saw him one last time the night I got laid off from my job. At that point I was willing to remain friends but since I told him we could not continue the affection stuff I was never asked to come back. The next couple of weeks he showed no concern for me being out of work, and was very lax about returning text msgs. Finally I sent a message saying it was time to exile him from my life. But I felt bad the next day and for the next several weeks sent both texts & emails - all with no response from him. When I eventually got through to him over the phone last week he claimed I abandoned him & that I was the bad guy. His coldness & anger was such a shock.
I've spent the past 2 months going over everything and have realized the majority of things he said were lies or half truths. And he said what he did all to serve his agenda of getting attention from me. He did the same with the girlfriend - to get her to have sex with him. He made excuses & justifications constantly for immoral behavior that eventually I couldn't buy anymore. And to top it off he's an alcoholic. I realized he drinks to drown his conscience because deep down on some level he knows he's a sh*t.
I've never personally known anyone like this so it was very difficult to accept but when proof kept piling up I couldn't ignore it any longer. How good he has become at manipulation is scary, he's very smart & knows very well what women want to hear from men, but his words are all so empty. But the truth is he wouldn't have succeeded with me if I didn't have my own self-esteem issues. Having experienced this with him I'm now focused on working on me. Learning self respect & self love.0