Dad was right! Guys bail; Overreacting?

So this is probably the millionth question I've posted about the same guy and after everything went great yesterday and today this is what happened;

We made plans to go and see the Batman movie tonight but he said he was tired so wanted to take a quick nap. I'm waiting and decide to go and eat with my family for dinner and he calls while I'm there. He tells me he is at our friends house and asked if I was going to go to another friends house with them. I said sure. He then asks if I'm going to ride with them or meet them there. I said ride with them because our other friend lives very far. He informs me that they are supposed to be there now so they are about to leave. Which basically means, I have to drive there myself, he bailed on me for the movie and still expects me to be all happy and sh*t.

Good thing my ex taught me not to let guys walk all over me, officially friend zoned.

Do you think I'm overreacting? We've made plans all week to see this movie and he has continuously pushed the day back and I'm just fed up.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Honestly it just sounds like this guy is a really poor planner and really irresponsible. Didn't sound like he bailed, just that he's irresponsible. In any case you can choose to take that as a deal breaker of a quality and it would be perfectly understandable.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 10

  • Not at all. He failed to show up, then decides friends are more important that being with you, while expecting you to be pleased as rain. I'm glad to see more people refusing to put up with second class behavior .

    Good luck next time!

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  • From the very start it sounds like this guy has been messing you around... One minute it appears that he has feeling for you and wants a relationship, and the next he's being really distant and evasive with you, not to mention what you describe in your question.

    I don't think you're overreacting and from the very start I got the impression that you either needed to take control of the situation, or just agree to be friends... I guess with what has just happened as you described it, you are just going to be friends! lol

    I guess it's up to him now to either apologize (if he's even aware of what he's done! lol) and/or open up to you about his feelings, as I've mentioned in some of your previous questions.

    So it seems like you've decided to take control of the situation and you've made a positive decision from your point of view to just be friends... I guess you'll just have to wait and see what he comes back with! lol

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    • He came back with asking me why I bailed and he really made me angry by seeing a text that said, "You're mad I didn't take you to the movies," which is the situation that led to it but I'm angry about how he doesn't have any respect for me. I wouldn't have minded just hanging out with his friends, if he would have just told me and not pretend the entire situation hadn't happen. Thanks for your input :)

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    • I just haven't checked my messages, sorry! It wasn't even a FWB yet, I don't know his deal. I'm letting the situation go, I'm obviously still frustrated but it's pretty easy for me to let the emotional attachment go. He spoke to me last night after this and he just expects girls to be crawling for him I guess. He should know me enter than that by now lol

    • Well I'm glad you've been able to make a decision about this and move on from it... One minute you're gonna be FWB, then he seems more affectionate with you, then he's distant and evasive, and finally disrespectful and quite vain by the sounds of things... You deserve better! :o)

      As for my e-mail questions, I'd appreciate your answers and advice whenever you have a spare moment to look at them... :o)

      So I hope to hear from you soon, and wish you all the best in finding a more suitable partner...

  • I would be more concerned for *WHY* he bailed, than more so him bailing. I mean yeah sh*t happens. I've had it happen before. I just pushed it aside and did something different with someone else. If I did it, I've always felt I fell behind to any kind of competition there may be out there or any other guys, so I'd always try to make it up to the person I bailed out on.. but I'm the kind of person who likes to stay true to his word.

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  • I don't think he bailed on you, because he asked you to go out with him to this party anyways. I guess he though it would have been a better idea to go partying than to just watch a movie by yourselfs. I think you are overreacting though, if he went without you I think it would have been different story, but he did call you and ask you to go with him; at least you know for certain that he felt bad about changing plans.

    Plus come on, you have done this before to your friends or other gusy before, think about why you did it at the moment. It doesn't necessarily make you him or you a bad person.

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    • It wasn't really the fact that he changed plans, I would have been cool with hanging out with all of our friends again like we have several times this week. Each time we've hung out with these friends it's because he's changed the plans. I'm really irritated with how he went about the situation. I do understand your point of view though. He didn't feel bad about changing plans

  • Maybe he's scared to go to the BAtman movie since Colorado! It's just a movie, there's no reason to get all upset like this.

    Most girls react like you, though, imao.

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    • LOL yeah some people are skeptical about that situation.

      I really wasn't mad about not going to the movie, seriously, just frustrated with how he went about changing plans and not mentioning anything about it. We talked about it today and I'm letting it go.

  • maybe he's been trying to hint you all week he's not into this movie at all, but you did not take notice?

    i mean, girls expect guys to take notice in similar ways

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    • That would have been fine but he's the one who brought up going to the movie in the first place. I even told him after the first time that it was no big deal and that I could just go with another friend. After I said that he kind of got defensive and asked, "Oh with who, your other boyfriend?" Obviously I have no boyfriend lol and I didn't imply that it would be with a guy.

  • So he did what wrong...?

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    • Don't get me wrong, I'm all for having your own friend time etc, I'm not that girl who needs to be with somebody every single day, just the fact that we had plans and I was waiting for him and then find out he made other plans and bails. That's what pisses me off. If it was the first time he changed plans, no biggie but we've made plans since mid last week and he kept bailing or pushing them back.

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    • I'm not accusing you of saying anything. Maybe it's what you didn't say. Maybe your context was incorrect. Using the English Language correctly and the contexts that I was given - he simply asked you to drive yourself there. He apparently went "there". Without claiming a new location I can only guess you mean the theatre. So you watched the movie together. But apparently you're now going batsh*t crazy because you had to drive yourself there.

    • Wow. No, is all I have to say because everything you have wrote is completely wrong. In the English language people use common sense to use context clues, which you obviously lack. Lol I feel bad for you.

  • he bailed on you so you have every right to be mad at him

    i wouldn't even put him in friends zone, id put him in the acquaintance zone

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    • Well the reason I say friend zone is because we've been really good friends for 3 years. Apparently not good enough but best part to this situation is that later last night he asked why I bailed!

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    • if that were the case and he asked why did you bail on him, I would have confronted him on why he bailed on the movie to hang out with friends

      people who bail on others take them for granted imo so I avoid those types of people

    • Lol yeah I didn't even respond to his question to why I bailed and returned the question on why he bailed. He had a lame excuse but I decided that letting this go is what's best for the exact reason you said, being taken for granted!

  • I don't get something, were you waiting to go after dinner with your family to see the Batman movie?

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    • Yes. He asked me to find movie times so I listed them, he said he was going to catch a nap and at that time my parents were headed to dinner to a restaurant down the street. He called me towards the end of dinner saying that he was at our friends house which confused me because he was supposed to call me after he woke up to decide on the movie time. He didn't even mention the movie, like the conversation never even happened.

  • I don't think you're overreacting, it's just great that you've learned some things from your past.

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What Girls Said 1

  • yeah, he did bail. but I think you shouldn't be too upset with him. He has just shown you what to expect from him. I wouldn't take this guy too seriously--because he's not taking you that seriously. On a different point, he bailed on a one on one activity but invited you to a group activity, is a sure sign he is not looking for any relationship. keep this guy as "just a casual friend."

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    • Yeah you're right. He texted me last night and today saying that he wanted to see me but I BAILED. Typical guy, always blaming the girl lol But he tried taking me to the movie today but I declined. Yeah I know, all the guys are going to think I'm the bitch now but oh well :)

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