I just told her everything. Please Help!

I recently told the girl of my dreams how I felt about her. I've bottled up those feels for about a year now, and I couldn't hold them in any longer.

After I told her how I felt, she said "awww that's so sweet of you! No guy has ever told me such a thing!" I cried a little while telling her, not a full blown cry, but a few tears rolled down from my eyes. Once I finished, and aside from the "aww" thing, she was speechless. She looked at me really intently and finally told me that she liked another guy, and they've been talking for months.

Now her and the other guy are still pretty far from going into a relationship, but she said she likes him. And that made my heart drop. She added that we could still be friends and hang out, basically putting me in the friend zone. I had to drop her back at her house shortly after this, so there wasn't too much time for us to evaluate this. I told her to think about what I said, and her response was "but I like that other guy".

This whole move required big courage from my part, because I'm worried to lose her. For the time being, I'm in the friend zone, which isn't good either, but I didn't lose her like I thought. So my plan now is to let her think about it a little for a few days, and then I'll try to meet up with her again and discuss what I said to her.

With all that aside, here's the main points:

- She was very happy that I told her how I felt, as no guy had ever told her something like that before. (Good)

- She said we could still hang out and be friends, like in the past. (Neutral, I didn't lose her, but I don't want to be friend zoned)

- She said she likes another guy, and they've been talking for months. It's mainly her who likes the guy, while it seems like the guy is kinda nonchalant about it. They aren't too deep either, so she can still pull away and be interested in me. (Bad, this basically prevents me from being closer to her, as in the relationship path(

With that summed up, my question is, what do I do now? I am in love with this girl, she's perfect in every way. I'd be the happiest man alive if she was in my arms! She means everything to me, and I've made many sacrifices in my life to just be with her!

So, what do I do now? I've been praying to God for help so far, and I'm thinking that's all I can do for the time being!

Advice is highly appreciated and thank you for spending your time to help me, it means a lot! God bless you and thank you!


Most Helpful Girl

  • hmmm this isn't going to be easy for you at this point but my advice would be that you should tell her you can't just be close friends with her, yeah friendly but not spending a lot of time with her kinda friends and try dating other girls. She's dating other guys but also wants to be able to keep you around. You need to show her you are wanted by other women. You don't want to appear desperate for her and like you're hanging around she'll see you as pathetic and that'd be bad especially since she doesn't seem to see you as a rival for her already.

    You have to make her take notice that you're a man who's in demand with other women and other women want/find you attractive and don't be so available to her..pull back.

    I've seen this in action myself with my daughters and I've seen this get their attention...no idea if it will work for you or not but it just depends on if she finds you at all attractive or if you stay on her mind past "aww wasn't that sweet" Don't JUST be sweet>> be sweet and sexy and mysterious lol


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What Girls Said 3

  • Well, she continually reminded you that she's still interested in this other guy after you told her so she's going to take her chances. She might not really like you that much OR she might just need to take her chance and then realize what she really does see in you.

    Your going to have to wait around, put your life on hold for her. Stay a safe distance away while she's pursuing this other guy and if he does break her heart, be there for her, but don't take advantage of the situation.

    In all honesty if I were in your situation, I'd go for someone else. It sucks when you pour your heart out and the other person doesn't feel the same way. Dragging this out will only make it worse. Try to move on. It's your decision to stay in touch or not, but please don't stop your whole life (including your social/love life) waiting for her.

    • For the time being, I'll wait a little longer and discuss this with her later. I've been thinking about this for a bit, and I will move along in the near future, as soon as everything is sorted out, since her and I didn't really get to discuss this matter. Thank you for your input, all of it helps! God bless you! :)

  • It sounds like you like this girl a lot. I think that like you said, you should try and talk to her in a few days. Really I think all you can do after that is wait.

    I know exactly how you feel. Wanting to be with someone when you can't hurts. Just hang in there though. You sound like a great guy and I'm sure she recognizes that too. :)

    • Yeah that's what I plan to do right now, wait a little longer. But again, just hanging out with her makes my day, so the friendship path doesn't sound too bad after thinking about it. Thanks for your input and God bless! :)

  • Oh you are the sweetest thing for opening your heart up and telling her the truth she would be luck to have you but since she likes the other guy wait and see how they turn out and if she has any problems let her come to you everyone likes a guy that listens to your problems and every once and a while show her that you still like her but nOt to much that she thinks your weird and eventually she will see that you are right for her and if she doesn't than she's a b**** and missing out on something amazing

    • Good luck :)

    • Well, from the way I see it, she is missing out big time. I'll wait and see how she and the other guy get along. And yes, I will show my interest every now and then for her, to remind her that I still care about her. Thanks for the advice! This'll really help!

    • No problem and don't forget to be there for her when she needs to talk to someone show her that you have a caring and sweet and loving side to you

What Guys Said 5

  • Ah man, you poor guy. Part of me wants to laugh because back in the day I used to be like this and lookin back, it's funny (give it time and you'll see what I'm talking about). The other part of me says props to you for opening up and being so vulnerable. You showed more courage than most guys out there ever will...BUT you dug yourself a giant grave by doing what you did and now you're dealing with the results. I'm not saying it's bad to share your feelings with a girl, on the contrary it's really important when you guys are together to do that (at least I think) but you never lay it all out there on her when you two aren't even dating yet, it sacred women and they run away. It shows that you're emotionally heavily dependent upon them and can't control your emotions. I think it's very important to share your feelings once the two of you have established a relationship, it's actually very healthy do do so but early on like that is a definete no.

    What do do now? It pains me to say this man but for the most part, I would say it's over completely between you and this girl. Don't hold on to the idea that it might work out someday, it probably won't. Take your time in feeling the pain, it's your emotions telling you not to pull off something like that because the end hurts, but then realize you MUST get over this and move on. I know how you feel man! I know you say she's perfect and there isn't another like her but TRUST ME there are other women out there, dare I say it, even better than her. I might get a lot of crap for my answer and for coming off a bit harsh but many times things like these take a big slap on the face to snap you out of it. You made a mistake, now learn from it, not that big of a deal. It hurst now man but try to keep yourself occupied to get away from the pain, it definetely helps to talk about if with close friends too!

  • look man, friend zone isn't 'neutral'. that is "you're a sucker and I don't want to feel like sh*t by telling you to f*** off". You put your cards on the table, and that is a very bad idea to do. That's a sure way to lose a card game. Her pulling away isn't likely. Guys in the 'friend zone' remain in the friend zone. If you're trying to persuade someone to do something,you have to connect with them. Coming out of no where telling your feelings is like going to a job interview, and begging for the job, then telling your boss how much of a nice guy you are and how nice he is and how much you really like him and how you've followed him on twitter, and face book etc. it doesn't come off right. Yeah, maybe no one has ever done it, but that's because no one would. Courageous, but not in a way that it could have had something come about. I don't believe the crying helped any either.

    If you become a doormat and do as some girls on here have said "be there for her"- she is still going to see you as a friend and nothing more. If she values your friendship then do the opposite of what they're telling you. if you act like you're scarred and you are clingy, any girl is going to run the other way.

    Never put your life or things YOU WANT on hold. You have to invest in yourself not other people. The more time you hand out like food stamps, the more you're going to be used. My advice, do the opposite. If you've been friends for a while, tell her, you can't be friends because it isn't worth putting yourself through that. You already have a small chance of it working out. this is a last ditch effort. Either she'll miss you like crazy for a few months-in which you will not talk to each other or anything of that nature, and she'll chase you down, or nothing happens. In either case, you're not going to shoot yourself in the foot any further and waste time.

    • Yeah I understand my blunder, and you're very correct as well. My friend and I talked about this, and in the end, I decided to move on. I'm learning from my mistakes and tips people like you give, and I won't be talking to her in in the near future(which will be a long while). Thanks for the tip!

  • Yo, check this out. You're totally diggin this girl right, totally crushin. So what would happen if a girl came up to you and told you she likes you? You would be like: "I'm sorry I like someone else." because you really do. And wouldn't you like it if she respected your decision, and not asking you to "think about it" hoping you change your mind? So what I saying is that you should respect her decision because she might feel the same about that guy the way you feel about her so just give her and him time and if it doesn't work out with them she might see you as a cool guy to be in a relationship with.

    • Thanks dude. Yeah and that's kinda true. My only option now is to wait, or move on. I'll wait a little longer for now. And I do respect her decision, since I can't really force her to like me. At least I can still be good friends with her, which probably sounds like a good idea right now. Thanks for your input!

    • i am becoming desperate and pushy myself to approach her. I think you should give your option open to other girl. We are guys don't know who is the one that really become our mate and understand us. fate that put girl and guy to have relationship, you can't make a strategy to make her fall for you. Just believe it one day you will find girl that in love with you and you can love her back and make her happy

  • There is plenty more ladies out their. Can the crying, its bullsh*t.

    • When you make so much dedication, time, and sacrifices for someone, and when it gets you so little in return, then you'll know how it feels.

  • Look nobody perfect, she has a lot a qualities that you like . Tell her you can be friend ,and ask her can you have the benefits of a good friend. Let her see the player side of you. I went through the same situation now the girl wanna get with me and I want someone else. Once they know that you moved on then they want you. You can still be her friend but when you go out wih her talk to other girls in front of her. She can't get mad,but she will be jealous that's when you remind her that you guys are friends. Make sure that the other girls look better than her. I know because I've done it before so I know what I'm talking about.

    • Sounds kinda risky and out there for me, but I'll keep it mind! Thanks for your input!