Guys...I really need some advice...Please read....

So I have known this guy for a little over a year. We have recently became friends over the last 6 months. During that time, I began to like him more then just a friend. Felt like we may be great together. However with all of the flirting we were doing and great conversations, he would never ask me out. So I always figured he just wanted to be friends (If he isn't asking you out he is not that into you, right?). Well my friends kept telling me that I should ask him out. So one night I did, and he said yes. However we never actually planned anything. 3 weeks or so later, I had a big BBQ at my house, had all our friends over, and we had a good time. He stuck around until everyone left...cleaned my house after...and we talked for hours. He initiated cuddling and we drank and watched the sunset. We both got pretty drunk...and he stayed the night (nothing happened). In fact I woke up the next morning and we were practically naked in bed together. We laid in bed all day, sleeping, talking, he was rubbing my back, etc. Never once tried to kiss me or have sex with me. So he left later on, and for weeks we talked, saw each other casually, but he still wasn't asking me out or making any moves. Finally last week he came to a bar with all of our friends and proceeded to start rubbing my back in front of a couple of them. So the next day I asked him over (just he and I) for a BBQ. He said yes, came over, we hung out talking all night. However this time, he didn't try to cuddle, kiss, or anything. He hugged me goodbye, and other then a couple of generic texts I Haven't heard from him. I Haven't tried to text him either...but I have been making all of the moves. I am waiting for him to DO SOMETHING! I just want a guys opinion. Does he just want to be friends? I mean why not just tell me that. I think he clearly knows that I like him. :( Its killing me because I just want to know, whether to move on from thinking about him, or be patient and wait a little while longer. Ugh! Please tell me honestly what you think...Thank you all in advance.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm not a guy, but I've been in a similar situation, and I think you should move on. Even if you really like him, if he wanted to be with you he would have made a move, or responded more favorably to your advances. He is holding back for a reason, and it's not because he wants you to make all the moves. Maybe he's not as single as you think he is, maybe he's not that into you, maybe he's gay, maybe he's devoted to celibacy, maybe he's just afraid to start anything romantic, even if he really likes you... none of this is really your business. I know it drives us crazy not knowing what's behind all the mixed signals, but the bottom line is you should not have to coax a guy to be intimate with you. That sounds like the beginning of a very frustrating relationship. Is this really what you want? I doubt it. If he's that great, keep him around as a friend, but only if you can let go of your romantic notions.

    Maybe he'll turn around, but that has never been my experience.

    • Thank you for your input...we have a ton of mutual friends and all of them say he is extremely shy. Which is why I have even let it go this far. He is definitely single, as I told you, he is a friend of mine and I knew these things way before even starting to like him. All the other factors you mentioned are either not likely or not possible, other than him not being into me or him being afraid. Either way there is no coaxing going on. I have asked him out twice...he asked me to meet him

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • I think you need to ask him if there's something between you guys, it sounds like he's really shy, I mean, naked in bed with a girl, without even a kiss sounds strange.

    When you invite him home, try to take the big step, and ask him if you are just friends, or if he would take it to the next level.

  • He is hesitant. Definitely a good person.

    Invite him over again and ask him directly.


What Girls Said 1

  • I could have written this Qn. I'm in an extremely similar situation.

    I have to ask - what was your outcome? I'm not sure whether to walk away or just ask him plain up front (dont want to seem desperate or make things awkward for us by bringing it out in the open)

    • Well, I eventually asked him and he said he wasn't sure what he wanted. We have been hanging out though from time to time, but I figured with his response I would just let it go, even though he still shows a lot of interest. Ironically though he and I are going on a cruise together in 2 weeks and will see what happens then. I think he is very shy and indecisive. Which sucks, but I am just going with the flow. If he comes around great, if not I am not waiting for him. :-) Hope that helps.

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