Boyfriend is out of work right now, but I want a ring!

we been together for 4 long years and even have a child together. I work and make a very well off salary, but he has not had work lately and it is fine with me, he stays home with the baby and we planned that he can attend school or just find work next year, no rush right now. but in the relationship, he knows that I want to be more , I want to at least have a ring on my finger to feel that commitment with a token of our promise of forever. I'm secure with him but I want hi to get a me a ring already. he says he wants to go back to work so that he can feel better about buying me a ring. the issue is, he refuse to buy my ring with my money. but I don't care, I see it as what's mine is yours, what's yours is mine. he keeps refusing but yesterday agreed to do it. I know he loves me but I cannot continue to go out in the world with no ring and nothing to show for. we are living a married type of life basically, just not official yet, but he needs to prove to me. and I'm don't with hearing and knowing. gimme my ring!

am I wrong for that feeling?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't think you're wrong at all. The ring has been a lasting symbol of commitment for a reason. But obviously your man wasn't planning to lose his job and I fully understand him wanting to get his own money to buy a ring with. I think you should give him more time though

    • thank you, I should give him more time. that's only fair. and I am so glad that you understand that The Ring has been a lasting symbol of commitment for a reason .

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What Guys Said 4

  • It's good you offered to use your money to buy the ring, sorry that his pride stops him. I can understand your desire for a ring, it's a strong symbol in our culture.

    Tell him the world doesn't need to know it was your money that bought it. They will only see the ring and the symbol of your love, they won't know the details behind it.

  • You are not wrong for feeling like that. But men are quite proud. His self esteem is probably a little shot due to not working, it is probably quite hurtful for him that he needs to use your money to buy the ring. Just be mindful of his feelings :-)

  • If you have told him what you just told all the internet, then wait and see, you might have to wait till he gets a job, but just wait.

  • You say you are secure with him, but then you say he needs to prove to you. Clearly you aren't secure with him. A ring is just a material item. It literally means nothing other than the value that you place on it. You say that you cannot continue to go out in the world with no ring, this tells me that you mainly want a ring to show off to anyone that sees you that you got a man. You sound extremely insecure, and you don't need a ring and I do think you are wrong for that feeling. I'm not going to tell you what you want to hear, I'm telling you what I think you need to hear. You might get hurt by it, but sometimes the truth hurts.

    • you sound very angry and you also seem as though you aren't willing to see it from my point of view. It's incredible because you seem so sure about you being right about how you are interpreting my question but the ironic thing is that you completely misunderstanding this whole thing. Thanks for the bad advice though.

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    • I'm not going to entertain this any further. I already selected a best answer. Case closed.

    • Of course... you selected the answer that agreed with what you were already thinking... In other words you didn't want this question to be answered objectively, you wanted someone to tell you what you wanted to hear, and that is also why you don't want to explain what part I am misinterpreting because you know I'm interpreting perfectly fine. That I answered what you need to hear instead of what you wanted to hear.

      But like you said case closed so bye.

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