Help me decode this please?

Help me decode this please?

We were friends with benefits for awhile, crap happened and lost contact for 3 years. He's back in my life, we had sex again and was treated differently. I ask what we are and he says just friends. I have been texting him just here and there. I texted him tonight to get this convo:

Me: hey sexy, was just thinking about you! ;]

Him: aww hi, I'm at work tho! :( sorry!

Me: I know. Just wanted to let you know and make you smile! :]

Him: aww, you did! :)

Me: Good! I'm glad! I can picture your smile and dimples right now! :]

He hasn't responded yet. He is a waiter so I know he is working and could take him a bit and he works third shift so he can't always be right at his phone. Was our convo flirty? Do you think he took what I said wrong? I keep wondering if he has hidden feelings.. I was told I've been the only girl he has been around in awhile.. Am I over thinking?


Most Helpful Guy

  • He thinks of you just as a friend with benefits still.

    You slowly grew more close to him. Your over thinking, but it doesn't mean someday he might just think differently.

    • I asked him if we were friends with benefits and he says just friends. I admitted feelings 3 years ago before we just reunited. Do you think what I said last could be taken wrong or was it all just flirty fun to him?

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    • Many reason he doesn't respond. He's a busy person. Doesn't feel the need to respond. Forgot. Don't freak out if someone doesn't respond. Nothing misinterpreted.

    • Oh I'm not, I knew when I texted he was at work. I just didn't know if I said something wrong.

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What Guys Said 1

  • It sounds like you're trying to communicate with him on a girlfriend level to see if he'll respond and maybe get the idea?

    Friends with benefits hardly ever works... feelings complicate it.

    • I was trying to be friendly and flirty if anything, do you think he took it as that? His responses came quick and out as good not as if I said stuff wrong though I thought?

      I know it doesn't. It was 3 years ago and I caught feelings, that's why was so weird he came back out of nowhere. But after he came back we have sex and then says we're just friends. He confuses me.

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    • I just hope that you're not setting yourself up for disappointment here ya know? He will eventually meet someone and you'll have to be removed from the picture at that point once again.. It sounds likes you're choosing to stick around because you're hoping it will eventually go somewhere but after 6 it's years I'm wondering if clinging to this would still be worth it... You're investing precious time and energy into this relationship that might be better spent perusing other guys.

    • I'm honestly not feeling feelings for him again though. In the 3 years we lost I never once thought much about him nor did I contact him or anything. If I'm removed then I guess that's what happens. If anything as I've said I'd take the sex and friends over feelings. I don't want to be trapped there again. I know him and myself more to not fall. As for other guys, he's been the constant. I've never had but one other guy linger in my life. I'm not too worried until I meet or know of other men.

What Girls Said 1

  • *sigh* girlfriend... we need to TALK

    "Me: I know. Just wanted to let you know and make you smile! :]" he already knows and asssumes his attention is going to make you smile! He knows and likes that you are a crumbtaker! Intermittment rewards- is only healthy for dogs, not for women with needs.

    It's time to change your energy and vibe. Stop messaging him, and date other men! As many as you can! Do not initiate anything. He will come around you when he realizes you are no longer a crumtaker and get taken care of by multiple guys, he will compete for you properly as a man... but don't let that sh*t fool you because once he knows he has you again, he will go back to his old tricks.

    Time to make a boundary for yourself and a future goal. Talk about how you want to be a wife. there is always a small chance he can step up to the plate, but I suspect if you really honor yourself and your needs, youl'' discover you don't want him anymore. you don't have to cut him out of your life... just let him fade away as teh better men replace him.

    • I told him I was trying to get HIM to smile, not the other way around. As for the rest, read my past questions to know the story because I don't think any if what you says or makes much sense. I'm not looking to be a wife or girlfriend at the moment. I don't believe it like how you make me as what you call a 'crumbtaker'. Read what's gone on and then I'll figure out what you mean, but right now it's not making sense when I've done almost all you've said. Things are not the same with how they were before

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