Why did he disrespect me?

Well after one year of hanging out with him, I expressed that I didn't want to be a "booty-call/fwb/F-buddy", that after all this time my emotions were involved. Here is the exact tect I sent him ... "After 1year of this with you my emotions are involved & I want & deserve more! We have amazing chemistry & I enjoy our time together, but it sucks when I only hear from you every couple of weeks ya know? I do care for you & that's why I need to tell you this cause it's not cool ... It hurts my feelings. We used to send texts & have conversations, but now its just to get together & I don't like it ... When you leave I feel cheap & I blame myself cause I allowed it. When we first met, I told my sis I have a good feeling ... We met for good reason & I immediately felt comfortable with you. I'm not gonna lie ... This hurts a lot cause if this isn't going somewhere then I have to do what's best for me."

He replied ... "I'm so sorry I put you in this situation. I'm so sorry you feel this way ... I just came out of a relationship and I'm not ready for a new one. Maybe it's better if we went our separate way. Sorry"

I replied with "Is that what you want? I guess you do ... Good bye"

I was devastated cause after a year I didn't realize how much feelings I developed for him and when I open up to him he seemed sarcastic. Then yesterday he went into my bro-in-law's bar ... Why? To see his reaction if I told him, to be a cocky ahole? Why would he disrespect me like that ... At least that's how I felt. I'm just so sad ... Please give me more insight into this ... thx :)
So this is it ... What do you guys think he's thinking after getting that initial text from me? And subsequently the last one saying Good Bye! Can he regret & want to tell me he doesn't wanna "separate"?
Just sent to him.."First off I want you to know I don't blame you for what I feel I take responsibility for my choices in this. My intention with you was to open communication to see where we were after a yr. I wasn't implying marriage but at least treated like a woman & went out once in a while. To me it wasn't "F-buddy" status at all! I was just shocked with your "separate ways" reply cause it showed me that you saw me as disposable, that after 1yr I didn't matter other than sex. Is that how you saw me?
Update: He called me after I sent this last text, like 20min after. He apoligized for saying wanting too go separate ways,we agreed to stop the physical, start over with talking. Sounded decent & good, he told me he had an unfortunate situation happ to him like day before, td him if hee needs t/wants to vent/talk about it that "Im here!". He said "thanks sweetie" & that was almost 2weeks ago. I don't plan on texting/calling him going fwd ... His actions are being louud & clear ... His loss!


Most Helpful Guy

  • What are you talking about girl? You are the one dumping on him your problems and make it sound like he should feel guilty anout the way you feel. As I understand it you guys were FWBs and that's it. He replied to you in a respectful manner too. So I really don't see how you can accuse him of disrespecting you. He just doesn't feel the same way you do, and that doesn't make him a jerk or a**hole. It always seem to me that a lot of women tend to do that, whenever they feel bad they immediately act like the guy is an a**hole. Well he doesn't seem to be an a**hole to me.

    • I appreciate your honesty! I don't put any blame on him cause I allowed the casualness, I own up to my part. I just thought we were closer & when I read he thought it best to go separate ways I was shocked. I just wished he called to talk, not be so nonchalant. I guess this is it ... Have to walk away...

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    • When you read my text to him I say I blame myself for feeling "cheap", I'm not putting 100% on him. After 1yr I wanted to see if this was going somewhere, not proposing marriage. I guess, regardless if I initiated text he could've rised above & called me. I want to believe he cared ... He never did!

    • Good, you both clearly are not on the same page, it's better for you both to have ended it amicably and leave it at that.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Next time, don't just jump in bed with some guy before getting to know him and he is looking for. I feel for you, and the pain your are feeling. But there were signs that this was nothing more to him than a booty call, you just did not want to see them.

    How was he disrespecting you, going into your brother-in-laws bar? If he has a relationship with your brother-in-law, he does not have to end it just because you 2 had a falling out or if he goes to that bar, he does not have to stop going there because you do.

    • I guess I felt like it just happ Sat, we were just w/each other Fri & he goes in Sun. I just didn't know if he had a motive, to see my bro's reaction to him, to show he's gonna continue cause he doesn't care. I mean I jusst feel so disposable, this past year meant nothin to him. Just really sad & I blame myself too. I guess I wanted to open up & I got slapped in face :(

    • I really feel for you, but ask questions next time. Just because you have good sex with someone, does not mean that that person feels any connection to you.

      When you see signs that bother you again, don't over look them. Ask questions, you may not like the answers you get. But better to be disappointed early, than to be hurting and self hating further down the line and to have wasted months or years of your life on someone that did not feel for you what you felt for them.

  • He disrespects you because he doesn't care about you.

    • My sis said I bruised his ego and that was his way of being immature ...

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