How do you know if the girl is feeling it like you?

I keep getting strong signals from a girl, but I don't know if she's just being friendly or what or if she's just flirting because she's too comfortable with me as a friend. I don't know, when I open my mouth to say something to see if she wants to hang out one-on-one, something holds me back. Maybe because I feel that when I indicate interest in her beyond that of friendship, I think the air turns weird between us or something. I don't know. But I'd never gotten stronger signals from a girl before, but then again she doesn't contact me outside of when she sees me around so she probably doesn't think of me otherwise.


Most Helpful Girl

  • It does sound a bit confusing from the signals that you've received on your radar, but this girl is probably just really comfortable with you and sees you as a very close friend. This sounds horrible, but it's true that people act differently in different parts of the country, for any country; this applies to America as well. Upbringing does have a lot to do with it, but the mindset of people within a region or state is more-or-less similar in terms of values, etc. For example, I met a lot of people from the East coast, etc. and they were very uncomfortable with the idea of hugging one another. For them, hugging was a very intimate practice between extremely close friends and family. In my state, however, everyone sees one another as family and therefore it's customary to make hugging a regular part of greetings and sometimes other interactions. You've already received the feeling that moving forward to pursue a romantic relationship would be a bit awkward for her, and it's evident that you find it awkward to some degree, too. If you don't communicate a lot already, my guess would be that she probably isn't romantically interested in you and is naturally flirty, or she unintentionally flirts as a side-effect of her outgoing (?) personality. I think the signals in the first sentence are pretty natural for most girls when they interact with their friends. Hey, I do those kinds of things with my female friends, but it doesn't mean I'm sending any signals. As for the teasing, it just comes with friendship. At least it's not violent, that's all I can say! My brother's ex, while they were still dating, "teased" him and sometimes he did get physically hurt in the process. Ah, dating.

    It'd be hard to tell if she were actually romantically interested in you, but the lack of communication seals the deal from what it sounds like. Had she really been interested, there would have been a lot more communication (of every variety) going on between you two-- incessant communication. Unless she's shy, which I'm guessing she's not, she would venture to take the initiative and engage in contact more frequently with you, if she wanted something beyond the realm of friendship.

    For future reference, personality and upbringing are important factors to consider when trying to determine if a girl (in general) is on your "wavelength". The female attempt at frequent communication and the initiation of contact are signs of female interest in the male party. If you don't see these signs, chances are she's probably not romantically interested. If you want the relationship, though, you should take up the challenge and pursue. If not, there are plenty of fish in the sea. Hopefully this was able to help you out in some way, shape, or form. Good luck in attaining a resolution with the girl in question.

    • thanks for the very thoughtful and detailed answer. It is a slap in the face that I needed.

      One thing I want to point out though---she doesn't act like this around her other male friends. And because we don't communicate a lot, I was thinking that was because there was something more to her actions (for then, why would I just be seen as a very close friend if we don't swap stories or confide or any of that?)

    • Maybe it's because she's not too close to you as a friend, her actions around and towards you are not so much out of affection but to give herself a chance to feel attractive (essentially to boost her self-esteem). I very well may be wrong and there could be something more to her actions, but if she could've saved herself some time by being more direct. She may like you in that brotherly sort of fashion. It's possible. Accessing some shared friends may provide you better insight. Good luck!

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What Girls Said 2

  • I have two thoughts on this. 1.) She has already put you in the friend zone already and is not interested in you in that way...or you waited to long. 2.) She probably is waiting for you to quit being shy and ask her out. She maybe sending you mixed sognals because you are sending mixed signals.

    • What are the reasons you think 1?

      Also, when I first met her she had a boyfriend. She broke up with him about a year ago, and there was this stage where we didn't talk for a while after that. And this flirting she ramped up in the last month or so, which made me ask this question.

  • i would say it depends on the type of signals you're getting. what is she doing that makes you think she might be interested? I say ask her out and then you'll know for sure

    • well, she's interacting with me differently than the other guys. Punches my shoulder when I tease her, fixes my clothes, laughs at everything I say, says she'd miss me if I weren't around. We've always had a teasing relationship. But it's not like we're huge friends, I mean we don't even talk on the phone or text and there was once a stretch where we barely talked to each other for 6 months.

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    • that was about a year ago.

    • you should give it a shot if she's single. what's the worst possible thing that could happen? you lose a lot more by not taking any action at all

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