I've been a terrible girlfriend.. Should I tell him?

I lied to my boyfriend about how many guys I've been with. It's been really eating at me and I feel like absolute sh*t. I do plan on telling him, and I even wrote a letter describing and telling him everything. Is the letter a good idea? I plan on giving it to him in person so that if he has any questions or comments I'm right there. Seeing him in pain will kill me, but I think after that lie the least I can do is see how much pain I caused him. Our whole relationship was always truthful and honest, this has been the only thing I lied about. If your boyfriend/girlfriend did this, would you leave or forgive him/her?
He asked me when we first started dating and I told him I've had sex with 4 people including him, but in reality I've had sex or hooked up with 10 people including him (not sex with all). We've been together 4 months and he asked me about 3 months ago and so I've been lying to him for 3 months.
I told him in person and then told him that the details were in the letter, and he read it. He wasn't mad at all when I first told him, or at least he didn't seem mad. He looked more relieved that it wasn't something worst, though I still have to gain his trust back (which I'm not worried about at all seeing how this is the only thing I did wrong). He's really happy I told him and I feel better now about our relationship than ever now that all the truth is out.


Most Helpful Guy

  • How bad is it eating you up inside and how deep is it ?

    • It's to the point where I just feel like breaking up with him myself to avoid him the experience of knowing someone he loves could lie to him like that.

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    • Na, just tell him. Honesty is best in relatinships

    • Thanks(: That's what I did.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4

  • Guilt is a truly useless emotion, and, the past is the past. If anything, just let the feeling you have about this influence your future dealings with him, and others. Nothing good will come of detailing your sexual history to him (unless he's like me, and loves hearing about such things from my girlfriends).

    • Well the partners I did tell him he always wanted details, because if he didn't get details he would just let them fester in his mind. He didn't care much when he knew, but not knowing ate him up worse.

  • :)

  • should you tell him? I'd say it's better to just act better.

  • Best thing is just to leave it alone.

    • How would you feel if your girlfriend lied to you about that when you straight up asked her?

What Girls Said 1

  • Um no, you don't need to give him vivid details on what happen, that just makes it worse. Just make it short and tell him, hey I wasn't totally honest about all my partners, I've had so and so...but in depth details (unless you were like a stripper or something that needs the details) aren't your friend.

    • What I have told him, he always wanted detail, because if not he would just stew about it and not stop thinking about it.

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