He has another girl coming to stay with him, should I leave him

A year ago I met a guy who asked me out (he is from Brazil but lives here 8yrs). I told him no because he is 11 years younger. He tried for a few weeks then gave up. Eight months later out of the blue he starts calling me again. WE have gone out three times and are about to spend a weekend together this weekend (3rd date he tried to sleep w/me I said no),

Also on our third date he told me a "friend" was coming from Brazil to stay for a month (a girl). I was looking at his facebk and saw who he was talking about--a very pretty girl he met while visiting his home. He spent a month with her there and left about a month ago. It is obvious from the pictures they like each other.

He told me he will be spending all of his time with her, taking her to all kinds of fun places (he actually told me where he was taking her). Things I haven't done in years (big things) that I would love to go do. she is staying with him (obviously in his bed).

He says he wasn't expecting this to take off between us like it did, and she has already bought the tickets, etc. He wants me to be patient about it and says she will be here then she will be gone and we can continue on if we want.

Why did he even start asking me out again knowing she was coming? This weekend he is planning on us spending the weekend together at the coast. She will be here on Monday.

I told him I can't be with him fully the way he wants me to be because immediately afterward he will be with her for a whole month (every day doing fun things).what should I do?

Well, he had his gir come (she just left). We did not talk the whole time. I did spend the weekend with him and had some great sex. In the mean time, I met a wonderful guy. I am moving into his place next week. It has all happened very fast. I cannot believe it, but it IS happening. He is taking care of me. I have always taken care of myself. He is going to pay for everything, so I can pay my grad school loans off. This original guy sent me a text immediately after the Brazil girl left-I ignored


Most Helpful Girl

  • See... I told you this was gonna end up bothering you, and you haven't even slept with him yet. I would bet this girl bought her plane ticket a LOOOOOONG time ago. But he made a move on you anyway. He wants his cake and to eat it too, period.

    If this guy was truly serious about you then he will not have sex with this girl. If she sleeps in his bed, then he will sleep on the couch or on the floor (which I doubt he'll do for a month). The fact is, he's gonna try to have sex with you this weekend, and then in the next month while she's here, he will have sex with her. Do you really want to be the opening act for a gal who's gonna get wined & dined by him? Maintain some self respect. Yes, I know how badly you WANT to have sex with him, but your repeated questions proves your heart is invested in this relationship and you'll be betraying yourself if you sleep with him.

    • YEs. I asked the question again because I did not get many responses. I tried to shorten the question in hopes of getting a variety of answers. I do have some feelings for him--obvously or I would not be on here, but now I am feeling worse (sex or no sex) I am constantly going back and fourth with leaving him or waiting it out. I am seeing other guys but I have nothing invested in them nor do I have the feelings for them that I do him (already). I am planning spending time w/him but be careful

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    • You're moving in with someone you just met?! Woah sista, I'm sorry to say this, but that's nuts. I understand financial benefits but it takes TIME to really get to know someone. As much as you like this new guy, and believe that he's taking care of you... you don't know him. I dated & hung around a guy for 8 months before I finally figured out he's a moderate sociopath. Lies, manipulates, self serving - would've been up sh*t creek if I had moved in with him before learning that.

    • meh... I am excited. I am not looking back.

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What Girls Said 3

  • I don't see anything good here. Stay away and end the upcoming drama right at the start.

  • DON'T spend the weekend with him.

  • Just start seeing other guys in the mean time and if they don't work out go back to him after she is gone and if they work out then great, you can dump him. Or dump him if this other girl thing is really bothering you, regardless of your situation with other guys.

    • Yeah... I am seeing other guys already, but it is different. I am dating until something serious happens. The way things have gone between us it seems that he wants something serious but isn't willing to not spend this tine alone with her-- he has feelings for her and I guess I am mad he started something with me knowing she was coming and now I really like him-- more than the other guys I have gone out with. I feel like it is ruining the beginning of something that could be good between us..

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    • He's playing 2 gals at the same time - NOT COOL! If you had more time, you would be more invested & it would be even harder to leave but it wouldn't change any of his actions. What is so f*cking great about this guy anyway? He's rude, he's a player, no excuses. Cut & run sweetie! He's not good enough for you. Why can't you see this?

    • I think he wants to see if it will work with her, or how he feels when she is here. I can think of it as if he were still dating others. It would basically be like he was saying he wasn't ready or interested in a long term yet with me (or her)--he isn't sure. I think part of my problem is my fear of losing someone. I have always had that problem (once I get feelings). Even if I tell the person it is over the minute they leave, I get a huge sense of fear (due to my upbringing)-makes it hard

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