Online dating sites: progressive or pathetic?

This question has been bothering me for quite some time. I am not talking about meeting some creeper in a chatroom. I am talking about legitimate, paid dating sites that use screening techniques, such as eHarmony. I was always strongly against those, thinking they are super lame and pathetic. I had the mindset of "Damn, how undesirable and desperate do you have to be to join a dating site?"

Recently though I've been thinking about it more. I feel like at my age (24), you should be looking for a serious relationship, and I really do want one (no I am not "desperate," I just feel ready to find someone for the long run). What is your opinion on this?

If you are pro, why? What benefits do you see to online dating? Do you really believe it can help someone who doesn't have many other opportunities to meet someone new?

If you are con, why? What are the drawbacks you see in online dating sites? Do you feel like only complete losers join those?

Thanks all :)


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think people that join paid dating sites are at the exact stage in life where you are, so that is definitely something that will be relatable.

    Unlike sites that are free, where just anyone can join and bullsh*t another person,


    that join the pay dating sites may put extra effort into finding someone they are compatible with because the money is coming out of their pocket.

    I don't think online dating is a waste of time.

    Sometimes in our busy lives, we don't always have the time to meet someone and to strike up conversation.

    Not only that, one can be very shy in person so them speaking to you online first may very beneficial towards them.

    Not pathetic at all.

    There are sources for everything nowadays.


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What Guys Said 3

  • I myself have never tried one because of the same beliefs you had (I am 28 and have NEVER had a girlfriend, but I don't like the idea of hooking up for pathetic blind-dating).

    However as my friend put it when I asked him:

    "...but if you do decide you want to do any online datings

    please don't assume all of the girls on there are having trouble with relationships

    or that the guys are

    they are just trying to meet people and have a good time outside of the context of whatever their normal life thing entails

    if you go into it assuming that everyone is problematic

    it is going to hurt you

    and them

    some people on there are having problems, I am having problems

    but not everyone, some people just want to broaden their horizons

    or meet people not in clubs or whatever they're normally doing

    different kinds of people"

    Now that I've considered what he said I am starting to reconsider online dating as a possible way to 'broaden my horizons'. However, I still want to try and date women that I know from at least some context.

  • i knew a girl who tried this once. She said she spent hours filling out her match thingy and then it returned to her a perfect description of her ideal man - but then proceeded to give her 'best matches' that were pretty much the exact opposite.

    It's like this: guys want sex, and when they go out into the world and try to obtain it, they quickly learn that they must at least pretend that feelings are important. However, the anonymity the internet provides allows men to circumvent this learning process and boldly cut to the chase. On the internet, guys can quickly weed out girls who are not interested in sex by simply demanding it, and in the worst case scenario in which their reputation is irreversibly tarnished, all they need to do is create a new username. Any online dating or sex matchup site is strictly designed to get money from desperate men. Any woman who tries one will quickly realize that these sites are full of men who can not get a girlfriend in real life for very good reasons.

    I would wager to say that all online activity suffers from an abundance internet-emboldened horny men. Probably this one as well.

    • CAN YOU suggest few good online dating sites

    • my point was that there isn't any.. I suppose OKCupid is kind-of neat, though - but also a waste of time.

  • Progressive for those who really are too shy to step out of their home.

    Pathetic for those who could go out and approach people but choose not to for whatever reason.


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