I have been with my boyfriend for three years so it's a fairly serious relationship. He's my entire world. My life would not be right without him there. I'm so in love with him that the thought of leaving him literally makes me sick to my stomach.
Naturally, leaving him would be a last last LAST resort for this situation and I hope you can help me resolve this situation. So, dear anonymous internet goers, here's my issue. How can I either get used to my boyfriend's family, or find a way to get him away from them.
I spent the day with them today for my boyfriend's birthday, and I just was shocked at how...immature they all were. We were playing Euchre and his father got upset because the cards were sticking and threw them across the table. My boyfriend went and got a new pack, but his dad was already storming off. His dad went and sat in his room, slamming the door on his way. His sister, a 24 year old, MARRIED woman, proceeded to tell my boyfriend he was being an a**hole for dealing crappy cards and she too stormed off.
Earlier in the evening, we were all sitting around the fire, and they were telling jokes, most of them racist, and I was uncomfortable about it, (we're all white, so it's not like I felt they were against me, but I wasn't raised around those jokes and don't find them funny. My boyfriend knows this, and when he tried to steer the conversation away from that, he was called a fun ruiner and they kicked us away from the fire.
They also brag about how much money they have all the time. My boyfriend was raised around this and because I haven't told him I'm uncomfortable with that, he doesn't stop them. His dad is a lawyer and so makes rather a lot of money. It's not that my family is poor, my parents make the same amount, or at least close to, what his family does. Except my father is a butcher and my mother is a CPA. My family is very private about our money. We don't go around bragging about it and whatnot. My dad still drives a 1996 Ford Explorer that is about ready to fall apart instead of buying a new car. His dad just bought a 2012 Ford Mustang and needed to show off.
I live on the rural side of town while my boyfriend lives in the suburbs. Whenever my parents get me something, his parents feel the need to one up it. For example, my parents sent me on a solo tour through Europe as a graduation present. His is sending him around the world.
They also make jokes about how "country folk are dumb." And how, if there's something wrong, like the power goes out, they say, "Well, she's used to this stuff cause she has to deal with it all the time out in the boons."
There's more stuff, but I don't want to bore you. I fully respect my boyfriend's right to be with his family and in no way want to tear him away. But in order of how I'd want this to go, it'd be
1: Find a way to get along with them
2: Take my boyfriend and run
3: Break up.
Most Helpful Guy
Don't break up. If things are great in the relationship, that is what matters. Family is just wallpaper to the great relationship you have.
It might be best if the two of you minimize your time with his family, and I imagine he'd be privy to the idea. He sounds a little embarrassed by their actions.
However, you do need to know you will have to interact with them so long as you are with him. If he's as great as you say he is for you, then dealing with them will be the trade off.
We can't help where we come from, we can only help where we're at.0