Can I be friends with a girl I "kinda sorta, but not really, but almost" dated during a hiatus with my girl?

here's the shortest way I can put this long story. if you have questions, ask!

this time last year my girlfriend of 4 years broke up with me under false pretense, but with merciful, if not good intentions (like I said, long story). I didn't understand at the time and was angry, and responded by just not talking to her afterward.

during that time I got to know a formerly loose acquaintance. she lived out of state, but we hung out a few times (at her request) within a month's time when she came to my town for Thanksgiving and then Christmas, since I live in her hometown. she had a boyfriend at the time, but she was planning on breaking up with him after the holidays were over. so we never hooked up, but it was sort of an unspoken understanding that she liked me...unspoken, other than the last time we hung out and she told me she really liked me and was probably moving back to my state to go to psychology school for her licensing (or whatever psychologist get, lol) in the near future.

but we didn't communicate when she was out of state too much, just occasional fantasy football-related stuff. you read that right...DREAM GIRL, lol. anyway, after the holidays my girlfriend and I started talking again, she came clean about the phony breakup, and we were back together by springtime, and I'm happy to say that we're more in love than ever.

but...the other girl has moved back near the area and she contacted me. we've only texted about football, but I do know she's single now. I won't lie, if it was socially acceptable, I would date BOTH girls. I love my girlfriend to death, but this other chick is pretty damn amazing too. and they're both sexy as all get out..."champagne problems", right? lol... but all jokes aside, I'm a one-woman man and I don't cheat. but this girl is wicked cool and I'd love to be friends with her. so it's kind of weird, but if we're speaking technically, nothing ever happened between us. so is it OK for us to be friends?

my girfriend doesn't know about her on any level, and the other girl doesn't know I'm back with my girlfriend. there just hasn't been an appropriate moment to bring it up yet. so for all I know, she doesn't want to be just friends, although I think she would.

but it's mostly about my girlfriend. obviously I would want to disclose it to her so she doesn't get the wrong idea, but to what level? should I tell her everything and just assure her that it's innocent? should I just act like the attraction between us was never there and we were always just friends? Because technically we never were more than that. is it inappropriate altogether? my girl isn't psycho jealous by nature, but she's also human. and hot chicks often feel threatened by other hot chicks, lol, so I don't want her to flip out or be sad or whatever. I just want to maintain a friendship with a really cool person.

what do you all think?


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What Girls Said 2

  • OK. Nothing happened. You have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. Just keep the other girl as a friend and tell her you are in a relationship now. No biggie. Besides, long distances never work.

    But just as a friend. If you star catching feelings you are going to have a bad time.

  • too complicated.


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