Help with Online Dating?

I'm trying online dating and most of the messages I send out the girl then views my profile then doesn't message me. I'm wondering if there is something in my profile that is a major turn off that I'm not seeing. Any opinions are helpful. My Okcupid account is Semifastrunner and my PoF account is Semifastrunner0.



Most Helpful Girl

  • To be honest, you're profile seemed awesome until I got to the last sentence on your POF account. Kinda makes you seem like you might be verbally abusive? That's just my opinion though, I'm sure others' are less paranoid than me :P

    Also I'd change your main picture, you look better in some of the other ones...

    I remember when I joined plentyoffish I'd get over 30 messages a day, it was hard going through them all and responding! Don't be offended, just keep messaging new people, eventually people will get back to you :)

    • Verbally Abusive? That's not good. I changed the last paragraph and my main pic. Please look at it again and thanks for the input.

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    • You're not being difficult. The guys that are just listing stats below without even understanding my question are being difficult.

      Could you tell me your opinion on each of the pictures? I am probably going to drop some of the pictures.

      Thank again for your input!

    • I did understand your question, but I chose to give you some other information that I thought was useless and relevant to your question. Yeah, your welcome. So sick of people getting pissed at informative posts, just because it doesn't directly answer their question. I'm giving you good info, be thankful for that.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Saw your POF profile.

    I will say that girls may not be messaging you because there's no romance in your description. Instead you talk about potential arguing. Try talking more about the things you want to do together, the way you would treat her, etc.

    • I changed it so it has her and I being involved in possible activators together. Please check again. Also, thanks for your input.

  • Looked at your POF acct and you don't have much of a description written. It's a possibility that some gals are intimidated by your athleticism and/or your engineering title. Instead of mentioning your field and career goal, write something more about who you are as a person. Also what you're looking for in a relationship or gal.

    • Thanks for the input. I'll try to avoid all of the high end career and athlete stuff, and focus on what we could do together.

      He is the issue that I have with PoF. They don't have an option that is "Wants to date, but could lead to a relationship. I want to dating gals with the hope of more dates than leading into a relationship. What do you think would be the best option for that?

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    • Most of my pictures in general are athlete stuff. What pictures do you think I should get rid of? Also, I updated my description.

    • Maybe just eliminate the first 2 pic descriptions? 5K and tennis championship. I'm shooting in the dark here. The description is better. Maybe more about who you are as a person, your character, likes/dislikes. What you've written is all about your life for the most part.

  • Oh god. Be careful on

    My moms been on it for a few years now. And its all creepy people on there. This one guy, his picture was a muscular dude on a motorcycle, and when he came to meet her, he was a 315 pound obese guy. Turns out he used a picture of himself from 15 years ago. And she actually started dating him, and he cheated on her. So...

    But she has met a few nice guys on the site.

    Im just warning you to be careful.

    Good luck though! :)


What Guys Said 3

  • I'm going to give you some stats that might explain your problem.

    there is one girl for every 4 guys on an online dating site. No surprise here. It generally easier for girls to get Boyfriend than the other way around, and with their role being more passive, they can simply just go about their lives and will likely have a steady stream of guys wanting to date them. They see no need to turn to online dating to increase their prospects. At least not until they start reaching 30 and beyond and their lives become busier and less social. But even still the ratio doesn't change much.

    Now let's take this one step further. Let's expand that ratio to 40 guys and 10 girls. Now out of those 10 girls, let's assume only 2 of them are very attractive (especially because its online dating). Now in actuality out of 10 girls maybe 3-4 are very attractive but lets' keep it at 2 for the sake of easy math. So we'll assume a fair ratio of 2 girls for every 10 on an online dating site are 8+ in attractiveness. That means that approximately 20 guys are messaging each girl (ironically not far from the number aliceinfinity claimed to get). So, that means that every time you message a girl who is above average in looks and in personality (judging by her profile), you are probably one out of many guys who are messaging her which means you have a ton of competition. Unless you are 6'2, make lots of money, and look like Brad Pitt, she's not going to give you the time of day. When a girl gets 30 messages a day like alice infinity did, they're going to naturally be very picky.

    Couple all this with that fact that online dating makes people shallow and its not a good combo. With the relentless mounts of search filter options, you are basically encouraged to design your perfect mate. What can end up happening is that people overlook people who may not perfectly fit their ideal mate, but had they met them on the street may have really ended up liking them, whether that be for looks or some other trait. I know the girl that was my first love I most likely would have never messaged when browsing photos on online dating site. Another example of this would if say you are 5'8 and the girl filters out guys below 5'9. You might have been the perfect match, and having gotten to you, that extra inch might not mean a thing to her, but she's never going to see your profile because she filtered it out, all because she could.

    I'm all for casting a wide net when it comes to dating. Trying every avenue you can including online dating. I've used it myself in the past. I'm just saying that you have to accept the fact that its not this perfect tool its made out to be, its quite flawed so don't hold your breath. If anything I would encourage you to try a paid site and one that doesn't have as many filtering options. Sites like eharmony are best because you have to take a personality test, and they only give you a set amount of matches based on that. No mass searching.

    • Brilliant answer! I've never been on an online dating site, but you explained it excellent, I have an understanding of it. Well said

  • i don't know online dating can be pretty tough for those who aren't familar with how it works . its not as easy as it appears on TV . you also have to keep in mind the desireable girls on those sites get tons of messages so its not unusual for them to not ever reply . even if there is nothing wrong with your profile . they just might of got an email from someone else they though was more interesting , you could be competing against dozens of guys if your messaging the better looking girls

  • Your photos are pretty good, remove the sunglasses ones (kinda creepy) off OK cupid and put others. Get one up of you with a girl(s). Photos of you doing interesting things are the best.

    Remove sleeping and TV from interests. Cliche, and doesn't make you look fun.

    You're About is boring, it's only your work? They don't care about that.

    Remove what you do for work unless you're a professional sky diver. What you aspire to do is good! But don't say "I Hope", show more confidence! Show you have goals that you WILL acheive! But stop being so serious. Write interesting and fun/funny stuff about you. Avoid negativity in anyway, especially towards people. One self deprivation sentence is good though. Project a fun future of you and the girl together.

    This is the backbone of your success with online dating and you're selling yourself. Your profile should be an extension of you. It should be a reflection of your philosophies, your tastes in all things cultural, your sense of humor, your style, who you are, and what you're looking for. It has to have ENERGY! Be open, be honest, and be cocky funny. Show some attitude and swagger. show some heart. Show that you're human and genuine. My online personal has had a lot of success where I've placed it because I've spent two years editing it.

    Next, what are you sending to women for the first message? Tell me exactly. That could be the biggest thing that's stopping you from getting responses. Women get an unbelievable amount of messages every day, are you setting yourself apart from every other guy?

    Finally, I would highly recommend this guide to put you ahead of the average guy:


    • This. It's so important to show your fun and not creepy and almost every guy sense basically the same uninterresting message.

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    • That is right, and it should be personalized to her, something not everyone might notice.

      The WORST thing you can do is only say "hey" and compliment her looks.

      What almost always works for me is to find something or a photo and either make a joke or tease them about it, or make a funny assumption about her. Just commenting might not engage her, but making her laugh or challenging her a bit gets a reply. But the profile is really the most important thing, lots have messaged me first.

    • Also don't forget the message title. You wouldn't believe how many guys don't even write one or just use "hey". I always use something crazy like "OMG GUESS WHAT!" or "You are NOT going to believe this!". In the 10-50 some emails a day they get, you are an advertisement in downtown new york. STAND OUT. :)

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