I want to date her, but I don't need her

I've asked this girl out. I'm really excited, but here's the thing: I don't feel like I need her. I see these other couples so into each other, texting each other, calling each other before they actually go out and we don't text or call each other at all. Heck, we don't even interact in person much. And yet we have a date set and even though I'm excited, I feel like if she cancels or it doesn't go well, then that's okay, I won't be devastated.

This is a different feeling for me because usually I'm so infatuated with a girl when I ask her out, but of course when it doesn't work then it hits me emotionally and it takes me a long time to recover. So I'm thinking that this is good because I feel confident in the other things in my life. However is that lack of passion troubling? I like her, but I don't need her.


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What Girls Said 2

  • No, not at all. Your current mentality is a great one to have, especially before a first date. You shouldn't need her right now. You shouldn't be infatuated with each other right now. If you guys do start dating for a long time then it will build, but the beginning is to see if your mutual interest can grow. Just don't worry about it and have a good time. Those feelings will come later.

  • i actually think its great that you like her but nothing more. that way it can go slow and very normal. it was like that with me and my boyfriend at first...i liked him but did not need him, I felt different and not like I need to be with him. and now we have a very good relationship with very little fights that people die for having

    • yeah, like I don't need to talk to her or be with her when I see her in person. I'm saving that for the date. And even after the date, I feel like we'll both have our own lives and if it goes well and I still like her, I'll periodically see her, but not feel like I "need" her.

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