He won't actually make plans for a first date?

There is a guy I met at one of the college parties through my friends. We all hang out a lot together (at the student parties). I added him on fb and he straight away took my number and messaged me. We talk occasionally through text (usually every day but not much, just casual conversation). We both know we kind of like each other and he does say things to make it obvious, as well as treats me well when we are all together. He usually just spends time with me at parties and doesn't talk to other girls. But then, he said he'll cook for me one day and last week he asked me when I was available this week. I suggested two days when I could and he suggested another day because he is busy but I am busy when he is free. He didn't bother setting a proper date to meet after that. He just keeps suggesting it and he always says he won't go to a party but when I do go, he also comes just to see me. I find it really weird and don't understand if he is actually interested? Won't a guy go out of his way to see you when he is interested? Is he playing games (although he isn't a player)?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Before you dismiss this guy completely I am going to tell you that to me he sounds a bit insecure. I say this because it reminds me a lot of myself honestly. I've been in several situations where I should have bit the bullet and taken the lead but didn't because I was scared, or waiting for certainty that the girl was definitely interested so I wouldn't have to worry about rejection. I would just keep an open mind, and if you really like the guy set up a date yourself. Its typically on the guy for sure, but nothing says you can't give him a little kick start. If he still seems wishy washy about things then probably cut him loose.

    Not all guys that are indirect are players they are likely the opposite. And if you want something don't be afraid to bend the normal rules of dating. Honestly as a woman you have all the power, so don't sweat it. Because you will rather have tried and see where it went rather than just waiting for him while he is waiting for you. When everyone is waiting for the other nothing is going to happen.


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What Guys Said 1

  • If a guy's into a girl he'll quit his job, lose 40lbs and drop all his friends to setup a first date. Sooooo... it sounds like this guy's not that into you.

    That doesn't mean he won't try texting you very late while drunk on the weekend... ignore it when he does.

    And move on to some one else more willing to step up and take action! You deserve it.

    ~ Robby

    • Thanks! Just as I thought. I was wondering if it was his insecurity but us girls are known to make excuses for guys...

    • It's true, some guys are really aloof and lazy even when they're interested. But do you really want to start a relationship where you have to do all the heavy lifting? Isn't that kinda his job? ;)

What Girls Said 2

  • You're being "back burner-ed" meaning, he'll text you when he's bored / getting rejected from someone he is actually pursuing. When a guy likes you, he will JUMP THROUGH HOOPS. Right now you're practically paving the road with rose petals and he's like "nah, maybe tomorrow."

    If you really like him, you can play the ignore hard to get game and he might react to your Jedi mind tricks. But that's really a lot of effort for one guy. And you're a busy, fun, attractive lady. Who has time for that?

    • No you are right. Its what I was wondering but since he was the one being all gaga over me at the beginning I was wondering. I honestly am losing interest already so it doesn't hurt to hear he isn't really into me. Also I'm used to it from guys, very few would go the extra mile for me even though all of them show initial interest.

  • Sorry sweetie, no offense, but if he won't actually make plans then he's probably not taking you all that seriously


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