He doesn't want a relationship? But he still wants to date me anyways?

What do you do when you are in different places emotionally?

We both have strong feelings for each other, and I'm at a point where I want to be in a relationship. It's been almost four months now of dating, seeing each other most days and nights. I know if we keep dating NOT in a relationship, I will just end up getting hurt (because if he's not ready now, he never will be).

He cares a lot about me and doesn't want to stop dating me, he just isn't ready for a relationship.

I don't get what this means. I know him better than anyone and I know that what it boils down to is he is terrified of losing his freedom (he's a total guy's guy). But I'm such an easygoing girl, I never get upset with him when he spends time with his guys, I've never been clingy and to be honest I know a lot of other guys in our situation would date me in a second. But I don't want other guys, I want HIM.

Help me... do I cut him loose? Or give him time? Does absence make the heart grow fonder, or will he just forget about me if I disappear?


Most Helpful Guy

  • You can say you're not clingy or that you're easygoing - but you're ready to dump this allegedly great guy just because he doesn't want a formal relationship.

    That's not the definition of an easy going girl. That's a girl who wants a relationship, and doesn't really care who it's with.

    You can date this great guy, and not have a relationship,

    Or you can have the relationship with some other guy, probably not as great as this guy.

    And you're going to pick the relationship, because that's what girls do.

    You need security, more than you want a good man.

    • it's not that I want a relationship with just anyone. when I met him I wasn't looking for a relationship, but it has turned into me wanting that because I've never felt this way about someone before.

      i'm 21 years old and I've never been in a relationship because I don't settle. so you are very wrong in your assumptions... if I was a girl who "just wanted a relationship", I could have had one by now.

      chances are, if I ended it with him, I'd continue to be single for awhile, as I always have.

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 3

  • Have you guys been sexually intimate? If so then I am sorry to say it's a possible that he may never make it official. Have you ever heard the saying " Why buy the cow when you could get the milk for free"? I have been in your shoes and my story ended with him sleeping with 5 other women. Some guys just aren't ready for a committed relationship. Move on.

    • what if your not sexually intimate yet... is that still a good thing?

    • yes we are sexually intimate. thank you for your advice

    • @Ladykiller101 It all depends. He could just be slow to do it or he could be playing the feilds. I would need more to go on to give you a better answer. I can tell you that if he won't comitt thenyou must quit. Don't wait around forever for a guy. The time you take to wait for him to decide, is the time you can take to be with someone who will comitt to you.

  • Sorry to say this but since you guys are already sexually intimate, it's unlikely that he'll make it official. 4 months is enough time to know whether one wants to pursue a potential relationship.He probably just has commitment issues. I think it's best for you to just move on. You're just going to end up getting hurt in the end.

  • 1) he wants to keep having sex with you and other girls

    2) he doesn't want to give up having sex with other girls if he is having sex with you

    seems like he wants to have his cake and eat it too in all honesty.


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