What aspects of one's dating / personal life do you consider "baggage"?

I hear about people in terms of dating, talking about having "baggage", about how a guy / girl has too much "baggage"...


...i'll admit I've said to a girl I was dating "check your baggage at the door" when we were getting serious.


But...i never gave serious thought to what "baggage" is.

What parts of one's past do you consider "baggage" in yourself or others?

Please give examples of what you consider "baggage" in your past, or in the past of others you know, so we understand how you define this term.

Go anonymous if you feel you need the protection to answer this question.


P.S. Feel free to guess the Pokemon! :-P


Most Helpful Girl

  • "Baggage" is anything that could be a deal-breaker. It makes us human but needs to be handled delicately. For me when dating others, this is usually insecurities from past relationships. I don't want to hear about the other girls. One guy kept going on and on about how his exes didn't understand his job, total turn-off for me, because we had the same time of job and I felt him he was saying I was going to act like that! Another was severely depressed and he told me this within days of meeting him, it was too much and he didn't have a handle on it.

    Then comes various illnesses, usually mental. In my own case, my "baggage" includes depression and severe social anxiety. Not pleasant, and it can affect how I act so it becomes baggage. I also have a cheating ex and a player in my past... but I don't count those because I've moved on, I learned something and I don't let it cloud future relationships.

    So in conclusion, for me, "baggage" is the mental and emotional scars that come from life's experiences that affect who we are in often negative ways. Everyone has it, it is how you deal with it that matters. I know I have depression and social anxiety, I know what sets it off and I deal with it accordingly. I don't share it as a "poor me" story, actually, unless I must, I don't share it.


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What Girls Said 3

  • I feel that baggage, in someone I'm dating, is past girlfriends/boyfriends or past relationship issues he/she is holding onto. Baggage such as; his/her ex who's constantly posting hearts and tagging him in personal pictures, old texts/messages/emails/pictures of exes. I feel like emotional baggage is how someone in the past made you feel, that feeling, you're now projecting onto me, making me feel as though I did it to you, or will.

    In myself, I feel like I do have baggage, but it's managed and I'm able to discuss it and don't deny it. I'll tell my partner, "look, this is what I'm dealing with, this is what happened, and why I feel this way. I don't expect you to try to prove me wrong, just DON'T prove me right. all I'm asking is that you'll work with me, I'm worth it."

    Baggage in my past is always trust, my trust has always been betrayed in all aspects of my life. My baggage is also my past abuse, I deal with it, but if I'm serious about a person, they'll have to know that's a part of who and how I am.

    Some baggage in my current s/o past REALLY F*CKING ANNOYS THE SH*T OUT OF ME. So he's dated all these girls but they were friends first, so he feels like he'd be letting go of a friend, but they still treat him like he's their boyfriend. He doesn't see it, he knows it's annoying towards me, but he doesn't ant to hurt them. that is some real baggage, and it shows. It's very apparent. His baggage is heavy and noticeable VERY noticeable.

    • I've dealt with this in a girl...she had this habit of dating her male friends, and they'd break up but they remained friends.

      Her two best male friends are exes that she was sexual with.

      It takes A LOT of trust to be with someone in that situation, Cee Cee. I think you can do it! :)

    • Thank you for your support, and it's worse WHEN, you already have trust issues lol but I'm slowly getting there. Trusting him, so thank you.

  • Baggage like emotional issues, low self esteem, insecurity, trust issues, any type of issue that would cause a problem in your realtionship. In regards to the Pokemon exeggutor? .. I remember that before evolving it was the little eggs in some game I use to play good times!

  • Honestly I believe everyone has baggage in some way or another. It really depends how you carry it. Do you let it weigh you down, do you keep it to yourself, etc. Baggage stems from negative experiences in your past. Could be from past relationships or family history, or from bad chouces they have made in life. My baggage is that I'm divorced and have a 2 year old son. My ex was extremely abusive. But I don't let this baggage weigh me down, I continue on with my life as normal. I have a boyfriend now who accepts me for who I am and the fact I have a child from a previous relationship. And I don't bring up things about my past unless he asks nor do I let it hinder our relationship. I carry my own baggage, not try and dump it off on someone else.


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