Am I wasting my time?

I have been dating this guy for about 3 months. He has a daughter and a demanding job. I don't get to see him often as he is the primary parent for his daughter, but I feel like I am always initiating text. If h really was into me wouldn't he make the time to communicate with me? To reach out a bit and stay connected? I texted him twice yesterday and nothing. I feel so bad and I am tempted to reach out even though I know I shouldn't. Any advice?


Most Helpful Guy

  • He is a father first and foremost and time with you is recreation time NOT an established relationships with rules attached to him. You must respect where he is at in his life and what he does when he has time for himself NOT why he does not seek out to please you or give you full attention at your becking call when you know he is busy taking care of his child and life (outside of pursuing a relationship dynamic with you). Hence the reality of being young and dating a man living large with many responsabilities.

    • You're right. I knew what I was getting myself into from the beginning. I am thinking selfishly because I always assumed a man would go to great lengths to be with a woman IF he wanted to. I never really took his pressures in consideration. My question would now be, at what point should I expect to be taken in consideration? I don't want to look back a year later and realize I am in the same position with him.

    • The idea is you may well become the first woman in his life but at most tied in second place. First comes the child then the tie between himself and you and that is where your focus and support in words and actions need focus. As long as you never pressure him to choose between his responsabilities and his desires (for you) time will pass fast and you will have what you seek but if you mismanage that dynamic time itself will dictate it never was meant to be. Get to thatmindset and will b OK :)

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What Guys Said 2

  • If he has custody of his kids rather than the mom, he has to be a pretty good guy and is taking care of business. Time can fly fast for someone taking care of business. Why don't you ask him with the knowledge that he is being pulled 10 directions, and doing the job of 2 parents. Maybe you can offer to help with his daughter, and that will show that you will want to be part of his family.

    • Great suggestion. The only thing is, I have not met his daughter yet. It is still early and do not expect to meet her for a while, if in fact he decides I am worth it.

  • Easy answer, quit initializing. Everyone's job is demanding in some way. If he really wants to be with you he will contact you. It is so DISRESPECTFUL to not answer a text. Stop contacting him and see where it goes.


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