Beyond my understanding...?

chain of events

- amazing coffee date with a guy (ended up lasting 4 hours, I am very certain we both liked each other after that, or at least wanted to hang out more)

- I texted him a little over 24 hours later - we are in our 20s and I thought we could be mature about it

- his texts became short and like 5 to 6 words - he still responded, just they were short.

- so I stopped responding on Friday, I sent him one saying goodnight and then he never responded so I just figured whatever he's not interested

- Monday (last night) he texts me and we text back and forth for a bit why did he just text me three days later out of now where...did I really make a good impression on this guy? and do I now keep waiting for him to text me? because I don't want to seem over anxious like before but I also don't want him to think I'm uninterested or too hard to get...

advice, plan of action?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I am a little older... and the texting thing to me is just crazy. PICK UP THE PHONE. DIAL HIM. It is easy to hide behind text/email. It is harder to hide behind the phone and harder to hide face-to-face.

    Who knows... maybe he was busy, maybe he was with him mother, his girlfriend, maybe he had cramps in his fingers from so much texting? I don't know. What I know is that if you call him and talk to him, you are more than likely going to get a better idea of what he is thinking than if you are are guesxting. :-)


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What Guys Said 3

  • Sounds like you're overthinking things. Unfortunately this is just the natural way things go when people use texting as a primary means of communication. Most guys from what I understand are like me in that they're reluctant to use text as a primary means of communication as we find it a hassle and would rather communicate in person or on the phone. It's more than likely whether or not you choose to continue texting and texting only as your communication method will decide whether or not this goes anywhere. While he may be into you, he just naturally won't attach any sense of urgency to priority to anything you have to say over text when you could be calling or making plans to meet in person again.

    My suggestion is to give him a call or make plans to meet again.

  • as others have said guys just aren't as interested in texts as women.

    sure we'll read it but we don't feel any need to immediately reply.

    after all it's just a text right, it's about as informal as communication gets

    personally I find texts a chore... it takes ten minutes to key in what you could have said in one minute and I think a lot of guys think this way.

    the fact that the original date lasted 4 hours says to me that he does like you (if he didn't he would have made his excuses and left)

    just as you are trying to understand his motives he is trying to understand yours.

    don't send any more texts, if he's interested in another date he WILL call you.

    if you seem too keen he may be put off

  • You're over thinking things.

    Guys just don't text in the same way that girls do. If you want to text him, then text him.


What Girls Said 3

  • okay no matter what any guy says, they all love the chase. they just don't know it. when things are handed easy to them they get bored and not wanna do anything about it. your first mistake was that you were the one who texted him. you shouldn't have been, you should have waited and he probably would have texted you 2-3 days after the date, and if he didn't at least you would know he wasn't interested. and believe me if he's interested HE WILL TEXT, guys do what they want. they don't think about it as much as we do.

    from now on don't be the first to text him ,let him text you and keep your texts short and sweet (shorter than his) and send less/ same amount of texts as him (so if he sends one text don't reply with three). and make sure you're the one to end conversations, and it doesn't help to forget to text back very once in a while. also, don't be replying like 3 minutes after he texts you, remember the longer you wait to text back the longer he's sweating and wondering if you're going to reply and what you could possibly be doing for it to be taking this long.

    good luck!

  • Everyone likes a chase, men especially. It seems like games, but really you need to let him come to you. I'm not saying play games and be rude and not available just don't call/text/contact him first! When he does it's certainly OK to be responsive and show interest, but if he stops replying, then so do you. Don't sit around waiting either! Just do you thing, enjoy your life/friends/favorite activities. If he asks to see you again, and you are available cool!, But don't re-arrange your plans/life to accommodate him. Trust me, men will appreciate you being confident and having your own life/interests and not seeming too eager and waiting around on him. It places an implied expectation on him, that he is responsible to entertain you or commit to spending time with you or fill your spare time...and they DON'T like feeling obligated! I know it's hard, especially if you like him, but don't over think it! Just take it as it comes. If there is chemistry it will flow naturally, you will not need to guide it :) Good luck.

  • wait for him to get in touch with you again, so its okay for him to just disappear and com back whn he wants don't get in touch let him initiate contact if he wants to he knows where to find you, you don't want to be the one chasing him best of luck

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