Question about dating someone with excess skin

I am a 21yr old guy. I have recently lost in excess of 120lbs. I go to the gym now and am trying to tone.

With my weight loss came excess skin. I have been really lucky In a sense as my skin is only loose around the stomach region. My belly button appears long instead of round and I have some wrinkles around the bottom of my belly. When I bend over the skin droops a bit. I don't think its much but if I take my shirt off I have to cover my belly button with my pants.

I am 5'10 190 and 18percent body fat.

My question is to girls, how many of you would not date me due to this? I have been told girls are shallow and I would be better off fat which makes me feel bad as all my hard work has gone to waste. You can never tell that I was fat unless you knew me before or I take my shirt off and you see the small portion. My moms sister said that this skin will never retract unless I get surgery which I do not want to get

Is this a deal breaker?

It has gotten better a bit but not much.
A lot of people say it would be a deal breaker which is alarming and saddening


Most Helpful Girl

  • That must have required a lot of hard work and willpower. Any girl worth your time will think, "Wow!" not "Ew..."

    Everybody's got a flaw! And, 99% of the time, if you are into someone, it takes a hidden set of tusks or a maggot infested wound to discourage you. Once everyone is laying down, ahem, even those might not be deal breakers.

    That's the beauty of intimacy. You're not naked in front of the world. You're naked in front of someone else who likes you so much they forget their own stretch marks and cellulite and couldn't care less about yours either.

    I don't know if I'd date you. Are you nice? Funny? Interesting? A little wobble is the last thing I'm paying attention to. I suspect a lot of girls would agree.

    • I have heard that a lot of girls will laugh and never even look at you again. Its kinda got me hating girls for this as I don't think its fair.

    • Those aren't "girls" you speak of. They are mindless, heartless harpies who I suspect do not exist in real life OR are total hypocrites. Ever heard the phrase "women and sausages"? That's because nobody wants to see either of two things prepared: women and sausages. Ruins the illusion when you see the concealer spackle, push-up bra, spanx wrestling, mustache bleach and toenail hacking. You'll be fine. Nobody - NOBODY - is perfect. I think that makes it more fun.

    • I doubt that applies to most people.

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What Girls Said 4

  • I kno it's not fair. Some girls are ashamed of their stomachs two and feel uncomfortable taking their shirts off as well.

    • but what can be done? A lot of people are shallow these days

  • I think its awesome that you've lost all that weight and takes a lot of work although there are some girls out there that do care. But small percentage. It shouldn't b a deal breaker and if it is , she obviously isn't the one for u. ;)

    • So I'm guessing not a lot of people will be the one for me then:(

    • If they can't get over the fact that you workd hard to achieve your goal and have proof of it then they simply aren't worth your time. R just dnt take your shirt off. I'm sure you'll b fine

    • Its not fair that I can't take my shirt off.

  • Not at all. My boyfriend lost a bunch of weight before I met him so he has some excess skin like you're talking of but 1. I don't think I would have even noticed if he never pointed it out to me 2. when he did point it out to me, I honestly didn't see anything "wrong" with him like he did. He's really insecure about it but to me he just looks REALLY sexy and attractive. Like another girl said if a girl did find it to be a deal breaker, then you shouldn't want to date her anyways!

    • mine is noticable in the stomach, I see it every morning. there are wrinkles around the belly button

    • Show All
    • Okay I don't mean to sound harsh but what is the point of dwelling on this? If a girl suddenly dumps you after you take your shirt off, then it wasn't meant to be and you are better off without her anyways. If you find a good, genuine girl, then she will not care about this huge insecurity you have. Just try to stop focusing on it and find a good girl instead

    • because I don't think there are any good decent girls who aren't shallow

  • Not for me.

    I admire you for losing the weight, it's so hard to lose weight, and I understand you're pain.

    Just like men, SOME girls can be shallow, just like SOME men can be too.

    Everyone has an insecurity and this is yours. But it's something to be proud of, not ashamed of. Yes, it might be a little unsightly, but it's a mark of your huge achievement. Any girl who leaves you because of it isn't worthy of you in my eyes...

    Fair play to you. I must ask...what's your secret?!?!

    • My desire to not be fat. I have an undying desire to be normal. Sometimes its hard to accept that most gives me laugh and write me off.

    • Show All
    • Why? Because they are shallow. You know that. But as I keep saying, there are girls out there who don't think so. BeenThereb4 is asking what kind of person you are not your weight. mizzv says she doesn't care. anon says her boyfriend was the same and doesn't care. There are girls out there who don't care, you just have to look for them. I've said this before, I know you're insecure, but there's only so many times I can say it... You obviously don't want to believe me.

    • Its hard to believe.

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