How does someone with a lack of social skills date women?

Here's the things. I label myself as Asperger's but that doesn't exactly give bonus points. Plus, I'm not attractive. So either way it's hard to find someone.

My problem is that I rant on about certain topics i.e. Science. But how do I find someone who also rants on about these topics? Also my small talk isn't great. I have never found a need to chat to any stranger. So meeting women isn't easy either. I could think of a question to ask but that's it. Nothing else. I find it easier to answer questions but how would that happen?

You should be able to see my problem emerging. It would probably be impossible for me to arrange a date. Don't forget that I struggle to make friends. If I hypothetically could get a date I'm stuck again. I wouldn't be able to make conversation unless asked. But that doesn't leave a good impression either. The awkward guy at the other side of the table who doesn't say much.

I also haven't had any experience anyway. This is hypothetical.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Well you need to go to places where similar people go.

    For example, you like Science I take it? So ideally you're looking for a girl who's at least a little interested? You should try college/university for that sort of thing, but you really need to do something about your lack of social skills, it's really not a turn-on, what are you going to do if you meet the girl of your dreams and you can't talk to her?

    Which involves going out more and talking to people, maybe get a part-time job? Or something of that nature where you have to talk to people, but when you have something to talk to them about (ie if your working in a shop, you'll be talking about what your selling them etc), or a good one is volunteer work at a charity, there you have to deal with a lot of people as well and it can actually be really good for you.

    Thing is, you're only going to be able to talk to girls if you get over this lack of desire to speak to people, so you can either work on that now before you've met her, or you can not do that and when you meet her, just hope she has a thing for socially awkward people?

    But I'm really you, confidence is the most attractive thing to women, it's easily the hottest attribute a guy can have.


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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 2

  • You need to find people who think similarly to you.

    Also, many people label themselves with Asperger's, even though a high portion of these are just hypochondriac, in a sense. After you label yourself something, you'll do your best to maintain that label ~ so in this case, that is not a positive thing for you to do.

    Anyhow, I had issues with finding friends myself, then I went to university ~ and there were many more people who thought alike as me. Thus, many times the problem is merely that you need to find people who you have things in common with - and if you're not a party person whose only concern is drinking and gossiping about other people drinking, but rather more "science-y" topics that actually hold informational value, then you truly just need to find some people who do the same thing.

    The problem is not always with you.

  • It would be difficult but not impossible for a guy with Aspergers to develop decent social skills. You just have to put in the required amount of work.

    If you're unwilling to do that, and just expect to find a girl who will be willing to date you with your poor social skills, bear in mind that the odds against that are massive.