Dating - had sex and now nothing?!

I have been dating this guy for a couple of months and I really like him - last week we slept together for the first time.

Background on him: his never been in a relationship his 22, so keeping in contact with me is a challenge for him because his never had to put effort into any relationship before. He doesn't sleep around. Always comments on how I'm out of his league and how much he likes me...

So we slept together he said it was amazing (very genuine) we spoke the next day but he hasn't contact me since! his away the last 2 days but now his back and I messaged him asking how his weekend was and no reply...

I don't know whether to factor into this that his never even really dated before into this or just right him off as not interested in me? I'm just really hurt because even he knows it takes a lot for me to sleep with someone and if he just did all those dates and said all that stuff to sleep with me then I'm pretty crushed...

Please let me know your opinion and how I can go about the situation? xxx


Most Helpful Guy

  • Hmmm this is a tough one. I do not know his lack of dating in the past is a factor here...he may fear intimacy or not. Normally if a guy loses his virginity to a girl he gets really hooked on her and is all up her ass(no pun intended).

    i would wait a few more days...but if a guy is really into a girl he will always get back to her with phone calls or texts immediately that's just my opinion. but don't stress too much. if you don't hear from him in another day or two call or text him and call him out on his odd behavior. its definitely odd behavior.

    It is possible he said all those things to you and took you on dates to sleep with you that's definitely possible some guys are like that. Normally I will have a loose connection with a girl that I just slept with her if I did not really like her that much or the sex was bad/awkward no matter what he told you. even if a girl is bad in bed or a bad lover no guy is going to be mean and say she was awful unless he's a moron even if the sex was bad for him.

    but yeah give it another day or two then either call him out on behavior or leave him alone and find someone else. but there is a book called he is just not that into you I read years ago its a lighthearted read but it is absolutely right on the money one hundred percent in terms of how men see women and dating trust me. pick it up every girl should read this book it would take all the guess work out of guys behavior and its a brilliant book.

    I hope I am wrong because you like this guy but my guess is he is just not that into you.

    • Perfect answer. I'd suggest you read this book, it completely changed how I think about men. It will only help.

    • Great answer! thankyou! I will give it a read... I have never done the chasing before I have always been chased so I'm clueless at the moment. I'm just not going to make contact with him to avoid the 'annoying' role. We go to the same kinds of places so I'm sure ill run into him - the sex was genuinely good - his best friends have just become single so maybe he wants to mess around to and avoid the dating scene. But thanks again! much appreciated xx

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What Guys Said 2

  • First off try using correct spelling and grammar. I found it quite hard to read your question because of this. Lots of "his" where I think you meant "he's". Also it's challenge, not challendge.

    Secondly, he may just be very shy and not sure where to go from here. It is rather fishy that he would not text you back though, so because it all seemed too perfect, perhaps he was gaming you the whole time. Give it a week and then see what happens.

  • Don't panic. Just give it a day or two and see what happens. All you really need to do is manage to meet up with him again, end up at one of your places and go at it again.

    • Problem here is that I actually want to date him not just sleep with him... if I sleep with him next time we meet up would that cancel my chances?

    • Good god no! It would NOT hurt your chances! In fact, if anything, NOT doing it would just make it seem awkward and like this huge big deal. THAT might make weird him out.

      Honestly, once the penis makes its first appearance in a relationship, it's best to just spend a couple of dates going at it like crazy. It's basically akin to the "honeymoon" phase of a relationship. The more you make him come around you, the more you'll both bond. So just be cool and go with it. Have FUN!

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