The best way to communicate with a guy of different culture?

ok so I'm new with guys. I've never had a boy friend.

There's this guy and I've known him for 3 months. I met him at a party and he's a 30 year old Japanese guy on a working visa. I'm 21, I'm African but look Arab and I have mild cerebral palsy. so there is a difference in culture, health, and age. When e met, he showed great interest in me, so I added him on Facebook and initiated conversation. When talking via Facebook, he seemed like he enjoyed talking to me. One day we finally met again but no alone. The 2nd time we met it wasn't alone, but at the end of the day asked when he can see me again. I texted him when I was free and since then we have been meeting. Initially we meet to 'study' since he says he wants to meet 2-3 days a week after work (I thought it was a sign to get closer). For a month now We've been hanging out 2 days a week. but things have gotten a bit complicated

One day I took the advice from a friend to tell him I like him, even though I wasn't ready. She said text him, so I texted him and he took it as a compliment saying that I was a good teacher (lol). I i followed my friends advice to tell him I have feelings and he's messaged me back saying he likes me, but just as a best friend and enjoys hanging out with me sometimes. Texting him that I like him was a big mistake. When we met after that, I told him in person that I like him, I never really asked if he did...he was quiet and just smiled. I just said "you don't like me" and he screamed "what!" I said I was sorry, and we still met after that. I mean after I told him I like him and that I don't care about culture or language barrier, he is still willing to meet me even though I'm the one initiating. we spend good time together, but he's really quiet and shy I just don't know what to say. I Sometimes I think I talk too much and I'm a bit controlling and that its my fault, and I'm doing wrong. I feel that because his English, he is not telling the truth about how he feels, and he said that its difficult to speak in English.

the last day we met to study, I wasn't talking much (just doing school work) and he seemed a bit upset, preoccupied. I texted him later that day asking as a friend "if everything was OK or if something was wrong". he hasn't texted back after a day. I want to tell him how I feel that I've done wrong in not letting him talk. if he doesn't respond, should I wait awhile a text him that I want to meet, and give him a chance to talk? or should I call him? or is it to much to ask? after we clear things up, I want to also assure him that I don't want to always be the one texting to meet him and that he should too.

he's a really nice guy and he's been really patient with me..i just don't want to ignore him and leave him hanging, I find it a bit disrespectful since I want to either end something or start something on good terms.

What should I do? What do you think of this situation? Do you think he really cares are could he juust feel shy or a bit intimidated to speak?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I has nothing to do with cultures it's just him, he is a shy person probably and you need to work with it before you make a step further for telling him you like him etc. explain to him that you enjoy hanging out with him and try to talk for random stuff nothing that leads to the fact you like him and I'm sure he will open himself someday. All you need to have is patience.


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What Guys Said 2

  • Asian guys are all laid back and very SHY when it comes to relationsships and GIRLS.! so he can be INTO you but not have to courage to do anything.

  • My girlfriend is japanese and I'm European. Japanese culture is definitly completly different and they behave differently.

    In japan for exemple it's usual to say "i love you" before kissing each other.

    And everything in a relationship with japanese people takes more time.

    Try to let him a bit more time before he say it to you ;)


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