How can I make the final step?

I've posted here before about being in college, being an involuntary virgin and wanting to date around. I realized I need to take some time to myself to raise my self esteem.

Fast forward about 2.5 months, and I'm doing a lot better mentally. I'm focusing on myself, working out. I've bought a new wardrobe (not that that is necessary, but all my new clothes fit me really well and I feel good in them!)

But I still want to date around, and I don't know how. I go to a small college in the middle of nowhere. Because in the past, I've been shy/not confident to the point where I came across as snobbish or mean, all the guys here would be either consciously or subconsciously aware that I am not "available"

Hell, when I go to parties, no one tries to hit on me, ever. EVER.

What can I do? Can I change these guys' minds? Help me...


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What Guys Said 1

  • You have to take more initiative. Yes, I realize you've already come a long way, and that's great, but as you acknowledge, you have some further damage to undo. And the way you do that is to keep going to parties, but when you are there, make it a point to SMILE (you can'd do this too much), look people in the eyes, and introduce yourself. Get involved in the conversations, don't just hang back and listen, and smile and laugh and let everyone SEE you doing that.

    When you are introducing yourself, if a guy continues the conversation, help keep it going, rather than backing off and letting it die. Don't commit to any one guy too soon, but don't "shut them down" either; be actively, visibly interested in what they have to say.

    This will "melt" your "ice queen" reputation and will make people of both sexes be more interested in you. Likely some girls will "adopt you" as a friend and bring you into their circle, and guys will want to know what's up with you.

    Keep that smile on your face, stay out of the corners of the room and stay in the middle, where the action is, and keep getting involved in the conversations, and everyone's attitude toward you will change.


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