Was doing what we did going too far? Please help, I feel so upset about it

My boyfriend was over the other night, and he kissed me. He then pulled me down onto the floor, and started kissing all over me. He didn't kiss anywhere inappropriate, but he kissed my face, neck, then down my body over my clothes, down my legs and then down to my toes, and he sucked my toes. Then he pinned my arms down my my sides, and started pashing my neck and licking it. Then he took one of my hands and placed it on his chest inside his shirt (he had a singlet on underneath) and he whispered "touch me". I then told him I'd had enough and we stopped.

He didn't try anything sexual, but he was really passionate. He knows I don't want to go any further. After we did this I asked him again if he was fine if we didn't go further, and he said he was. I've even told him that he should date someone else because I'm not ready for anything sexual. He's told me that he would be upset if I ever did anything I wasn't ready for or didn't want to do. I just don't understand why he would do all these things if he says it's fine if we don't go further. I'm a little upset about it because I feel so cheap for doing what we did. Please help, any advice would be appreciated.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Oh hun, I don't think you are cheap! That's good that you were able to vocalize what you are/are not OK with physically. If he said he's fine that you didn't go any further, then good for him, it actually shows that he cares. I'm guessing that by putting your hand under his shirt he was trying to test his boundaries to see how far he could get before you said something. You didn't do anything wrong by him kissing you all over and stuff. I kinda wish I could say that I've gone that 'far' with a guy, but I haven't. Since you're Anon, you can friend me if you wanna talk about it some more. Hugs! :)


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What Girls Said 3

  • Kudos to you for having respect for yourself! There's nothing wrong with what you guys did, you told him you did not want to go too far, and he respected that. I'm sure if you talk to him and tell him that what he did was too far for you and made you uncomfortable, he will understand and will not do it again. You're young and you two like each other, stuff is going to happen. But you seem to be smart enough to know when to stop.

  • Firstly, this does not make you cheap. You did nothing less than an actor and actress might do on screen!

    Some thoughts: do you actually like this guy? This might be while you feel as bad as you do.

    Are you not interested in sexual things? You sound completely turned off by it. Like you never want to be touched.

    Are you maybe a lesbian? Perhaps the fact it was a man touching you you didn't like. Maybe you are gay without knowing.

    He stopped because nice men who have respect for women don't push them into things they don't want to do. Also, with the threat of a woman saying she raped her, most men will stop simply for that reason as well. They don't want to be charged for anything when all they were trying to do was be intimate with their women. He obviously has care and respect for you, that's why he stopped.

  • the fact that you feel cheap about this concerns me...if you are really over 18 anyway.

    but it is because he likes you and values you, sure he is horny, all guys are, but if they really love and respect the girl they won't push her and will finish the job themselves with their right hand, as long as it isn't forever, whether that be marriage or further down the line when you are ready for sex

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