My shower buddy has a girlfriend .. How do I make him forget all about her?

Hi GUYS (and girls :p) - I'm really looking for some good advice (from guys especially), so I hope you'll take your time to help me out! Thanks :-)!

Ok, so I've just started medical school, and I've met this gorgeous, smart and funny guy. We went on freshman's trip with all the other 'soon-to-be-doctors'.. Alcohol was allowed, and we obviously all got pretty drunk.

I ended up in the boy's shower room with him and a bunch of other people, pretty naked, pretty fun and pretty intimate with just him and me sharing one of the showers. I wanted to kiss him so badly!

But unfortunately, he has a girlfriend - And that sole reason, made me keep my mouth to myself, even though there was nothing in the world, I would rather (not?) have done. Point: I really, really wanted to kiss him!

Well, I know it's not very nice to stand naked with a guy, who has a girlfriend, letting him touch you and stuff, but since we were a lot of people in there, I think it should be his own responsibility, not to do anything stupid... - I was just standing there, you know ;)

But still, I wouldn't want to date a guy, who kissed other girls while having a girlfriend, so I stopped myself from tempting him, to cross THAT line... I hope you follow my way of thinking..

Thing is, this girlfriend of his lives quite far away, at least 3 hours drive. I don't think he sees her more than once a week, they live in different cities. And at least for the next few years, they are going stay that way - faaaaar away from each other. (I live in the same city as him).

My hope is, that their relationship won't last.. I know it's mean, but I really like this guy, and hopefully he'll be mine one day...fingers crossed!

OK, dream on you'll probably say. But I'm just being honest!

My questions are:

- Do you think I acted the right way in the shower? Or would You have kissed him?

- What's the best tactic? Become his friend, be patient and so..

Or fight for him right now? (He's the type girls will throw themselves at, the minute he becomes single. I'd rather just compete with one chick than a whole bunch..)

- How can I gain his attention, make him long for me so bad, there's no chance in hell, he'll stay with his girlfriend? ..Guys, I'm asking for your expert knowledge here :-)

Well, thanks for reading and for all the responses I might get!

Cheers, B


Most Helpful Girl

  • If they have been long distance for three years than he is already cheating on her or there is something there.

    If he cheats on you with you than he is getting with other girls to.

    Very sticky situation. You say you " wouldn't want to date a guy, who kissed other girls while having a girlfriend" but than say "I know it's mean, but I really like this guy, and hopefully he'll be mine one day...fingers crossed!"

    You have to be careful because if he cheatson her with you than you date you know he will cheat on you?

    Than we;ll be hearing about how he cheated on you.

    Screw the drama.

    Find a player and charm your way into his heart. That would be less messy


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 5

  • i don't know I'm not sure the whole thing is worth the effort . you said it yourself he's not even single and is dating a girl 3 hours away . there must be something more there and his relationship could be more solid than you realize if they are doing a long distance relationship . those are difficult and I don't think they'd be doing that if they hadn't been dating for a while .

    your better off seeking out a single dude I don't see this going anywhere

    • You are quite right, they have been dating for a while!

      But it's only been a month, as long distance couple. He just moved to my town.

  • Do you think I acted the right way in the shower?

    No. I wouldn't want my girlfriend to be naked with some other guy in the shower so I would never be that "some other guy".

    What's the best tactic?

    Be his friend. Sure. Try to win him over. No. Again, would you want some girl trying to steal your man away from you?

    How can I gain his attention, make him long for me so bad, there's no chance in hell, he'll stay with his girlfriend?


  • Chances are, he has forgotten you or hopes you'll never mention it.

    • Yeah, I can understand why he would want that. But fact is, he going to see me every single day. I'm not planning on letting him forget it..

    • Stay away from him. I would f***in hurt you if you tried to steal my boyfriend. I hope he forgets it! No offense

  • if he is willing to cheat on his now girlfriend with you do you think that he will not cheat on you in time

    Oh ya by the way I am the that has been cheated on and it really make you feel bad about your self

    • I've tried it too you know..

      But I think it makes a difference, if you see each other every day or only once a week.

      Trust me, I am aware of the dilemma I'm getting myself into.

      I always play it safe, and end up hurt.. or with a missed chance. Just thought I'd approach differently this time. Take a chance.

    • Show All
    • it's the way you talk about it. Like you just wish something goes wrong for them...If it's meant to be with him and you, then it will happen you. No need to put dirt on you.

      Yes it is hard to compete with me but you can at least try to give the best of you to people around rather than showing off your bad side. What you do goes right back you, and bad things come with bad things...

      And trying to break up a couple IS a bad thing, just for you to be sure about it. Others told you so too.

    • BlairHeart, you are a slut. Nuff said.

      Go around showering with girls' boyfriends if it makes you happy.

  • What exactly did you do in this shower? Did you give his penis and balls a thorough washing?


What Girls Said 10

  • - Do you think I acted the right way in the shower? Or would You have kissed him?

    No, you didn't act the right way. Not in the sense of not kissing him, in the sense that you shouldn't have been there in the first place.

    - What's the best tactic? Become his friend, be patient and so.. Or fight for him right now?

    Leave him alone. Maybe you can be friends... maybe. Would you like it if some girl was chasing after your boyfriend? No. Simple.

    - How can I gain his attention, make him long for me so bad, there's no chance in hell, he'll stay with his girlfriend?

    Again, I reiterate what I said. How would you like it if you had a boyfriend and there was a girl like you?

    Girl, I wish I could help you with your self confidence. A guy that would do the things you want, isn't the kind of guy anyone should be with. Except someone pushing him to that point, then they certainly deserve each other. Come on. Go for a single guy. Just enjoy life. Please, leave him alone. Girls like this make long distance so much more difficult. It's so hard in the first place. Obviously there's something special about this girl if he's willing to do distance. Distance can work, it just takes a lot; and people like you make it significantly harder.

  • A guy like that wouldn't date a girl like u.

    Sorry to say, but your actions came across pretty slutty, just not classy.a guy who is used to girls throwing themselves at him isn't going to leave the security of his relationship for a girl who presents herself as no different than all the other easy girls he could get.guys like that date girls who are challenges.

    Getting attention is just attention.not all attention is good attention.sure he can notice u, but if he doesn't respect you he'll never like you or even want to date u.

    He's already seen you wet and nude! You have no mystery anymore.the only thing left for him to do is sex u, and that's a far cry from being his gf.

    I can understand you wanting him, but your strategy is way off.u did not play your cards're now under the drunk party girl image, and a high status guy isn't gonna leave his girl for that

    • Thank you. That makes sense! I realize that in retrospect.. but it's a bit too late to change that episode.

      I didn't do it, on the intention of getting it on with him. Or to show myself naked for him. In fact it started out with a fun game of 'shake the bottle', we got drenched in beer, went to the showers, took a bath in underwear - and then it just escalated into a dare. 'Who dares taking of the most clothes', we where 10 people... and none of us is shy. It's just birthday suit, everybody got

    • them..

      Just to sum up. It wasn't a strategy. Just fun and sheer coincidence he was there too. But in retrospect, yeah, I've taken of all the mystery. I would like it back, please.. Any suggestions to that?

  • You talk about him like he is some piece of meat...

    Whatever you were doing naked in the shower with a bunch of people isn't right..

    And it is bad to try to get someone's else love.

    Seriously you want to play with him, not caring whatsoever about his love for his girlfriend and the love she has for him.

    You don't care and prefer to think about your little desire about having a good looking guy as boyfriend, to show off...him or another one would be the same to you.

    Go find your own boyfriend rather than trying to destroy a relationship between two happy people!

    It's hard enough to be in a long-distance relationship without having girls like you who don't care about a thing but themselves and are irrespectuous about others' feelings.

    • His love for her can't be that great, if he spends time with a bunch of drunk, naked people - it's bound to end bad for him. But I don't know - perhaps they have a really open relationship.

      I realize, I might come of that meat'ish way, but I genuinely like him. And not just 'cause he's dead gorgeous. And I didn't do anything in the shower, I told you that. I was just having fun with my new friends.

  • I would have tried to kiss him. If you don't know this girl personally why should you be thinking of how this lift affect her? I say try to steal him. I'm not going to lie, many times I've wished a couple would break up because I thought the guy was cute or I liked him.

  • Once a cheater, always a cheater.

    Keep that in mind.

  • if you can snatch him from her then another girl can do it just as easy.

  • Stupid is as stupid does

  • I think you're an idiot.


  • If you like him and don't know his girlfriend honestly I'd say go for it. If he rejects you then leave it alone, but if he shows interest then there's really nothing stopping you. He's the one with the girlfriend, not you, so if he doesn't want to do anything because of him girlfriend that's his responsibility.

    Just remember-- if he cheats on his girlfriend with you it's very possible he'd cheat on you with another girl.

  • i think you should distance yourself you can't just go stealing peoples' boyfriends and if he leaves her for you well then he would cheat on you and leave you for someone else too, why would you think you are any more special than she is? you aren't.

    • No, I know :( .. I wouldn't want that either. But all my life I've played by the rules. And every time got smacked in the face. I just thought, that I should maybe try and approach it differently and bolder this time.

      I don't think I'm any more special than she is. But I would like him to think so.. is that so wrong? And let's face it, she is pretty far away..

    • you can dream. but that's all.

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