I chased a guy I really like away, now what?

He likes me too, he said he did. We went out and he said he felt a connection, so did I. But he is very busy and just out of a 3,year relationship. He said he wasn't ready but when he is he would like to date me. But its been 5 months after we went out that first time, and I thought it was enough to just start talking, I asked him out a lot and keep trying and he said he still isn't ready. But what made me think I had a chance was the way he looks at me and how he talks to me. He doesn't act the same with me as he does others. He hasn't dated or slept with another girl since his break up so it's not that he wants that. But now I pushed him away by coming on too strong and he is still attracted to me and likes me as a person but now at work he won't say much. He's a great guy and I like him a lot. How do I get him to come back around. Also my chasing was attempted through text only and I'd only text him once or twice a week. In person I'm very shy so I stay reserved and talk nothing about our texts. He seems happy to see me, well he did :/


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What Guys Said 1

  • I don't think you're at fault, don't beat yourself up! It's the guy, he's simply not ready to give it his all at the moment. Not that he isn't attracted to you, just something is stopping him from fully committing his heart to the both of you, probably residual stuff from his past relationship coupled with his busy life cycle. You've done the best you can do and he knows you're interested, what more is left? Give him space and don't really contact him that much. When he's ready he'll come to you. If he doesn't, move on, because you deserve a guy that can give you some attention and has moved on from his past.

    • I think there is more he isn't telling me, and it's probably not my place to know so he keeps me there until he's ready. I think he likes that I like him. Weird part is, and not that it matters, but he isn't the most attractive guy and a lot of people say I can do much better. I get asked out quite a bit but it's him I want and idc what people say.

    • Yea I think you just need to let the guy go. If he's got stuff he needs to work through or issues he's not over with, that's his problem not yours and it doesn't say anything about you. I'd move on and forge about him for now. If/when he comes around and you're available or still interested, then you can proceed from there, just sounds like this guy has a lot of stuff to work through.

What Girls Said 1

  • I don't think you came on too strong. You went on a date, you just talk to him. It's not like you stalk him and you wanna talk about "how it goes" every week, right?

    Do you still see him? I'd just give it time but I wouldn't get my hopes up, he doesn't seem too interested if I'm honest.

    It's okay to need time, but it's not okay to just go on a date and "bail" after that.

    • I see him at work, but I know he was interested. He always was, he approached me first. Maybe it's all in my head :/ but he did flirt with me a lot after our first date and he's the one who really wanted the date and a second one, then it just stopped. All I get is " I like you but I'm not ready" and " when I'm ready you'll be the one to know" I don't get that.

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    • Well, tell him you can't be 30% into this right now. It's about what YOU want, not what he wants. He could keep playing that game for another year and where does that leave you? Keeping your love life on hold for someone you're not even sure wants a relationship with you. After a year he could suddenly tell you he has a girlfriend!

    • Lol true. Thanks for responding. Good to know it doesn't seem like it was all my fault.