Outgoing Guy Meets Shy Girl And Gets Confused At The Signals.

So I've started chasing/dating this girl who's quite shy. She tends to not say anything around mutual friends unless they ask her questions or initiate. When she does respond it's full of energy and outgoing.

No probs for me. I like talking and listening, so I usually come up with conversation etc. We have fun and she usually texts me after the date to let me know she's enjoyed the night together.

EVEN THOUGH, her body language during the last date and actions seems to indicate she isn't interested.

I asked her out after our last date, a few nights ago and she said yes to hang tomorrow night. Tonight she texts and says she's busy and made no effort to reschedule. We also texted a little back and forth before this, but her replies seem very simple and disinterested.

Anyone got tips on how to approach a shy girl into showing her emotions/thoughts/feelings without creating pressure?

Or has she seen enough and is backing off, like I think she is...

Any thoughts? Thanks!

Thanks for the answers. I think they're both spot on. My last message to her didn't ask "When can me meet next then?" Just said, "Have a good week" and left it at that.

Your thoughts just help to make me feel I'm not crazy and seeing it right and to be confident I'm doing the right things.



Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • From experience, I know that shy girls will have a tendency of feeling incredibly nervous around guys who are interested in them/guys they're interested in. So don't worry! Usually, when a shy girl is on a date with someone, depending on their body language (for example, looking down or away, twitchy hands/fingers), they may just be pretty nervous to be around you. It's a different environment from when you're texting a phone or in a group, as you're alone together with the chance of physical contact.

    What I've found is that through gentle small talk, a shy person will eventually warm to you, and will be happy to continue conversations with you over time! Things like this need a bit of patience...Rome wasn't built in a day, after all!

    Don't forget - when talking to her, don't forget to be yourself! One of the biggest turn-offs for a girl by guys are when they pretend to be something they're not; it's not cool. Maybe find a common interest you guys have, such as a mutual favorite TV show, and start a conversation through that? :)


What Guys Said 1

  • Maybe she's met someone else in the interim. Or, someting is going on in her life that takes all her attention and energy. I'd stop contacting her for a while, since it seems she's politely saying no to any more dates. See if she then contacts you. Sometmes, girls lose interest when they are constantly chased, but regain interest when you stop chasing. It's that way pretty often, actually.

    • Rep.

    • UPDATE: She's being polite in refusing dates. That's a good sign. Consider asking her 'what's going on? Do you need help?' in a message, in a couple of days.

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