My sister told it's OK to date the guy she had a crush and now she tells me to break up

My older sister was crushing on this guy on her course a few months ago. He asked me out though and I asked her if she was fine with it because I knew she was into him. She said she was totally cool with it so we've been dating since then.


And then yesterday out of the blue she tells me that's it's really of me to date him and I should break up. Why is she doing that? He is really great, I don't want to break up with him. I was raped when I was 14 and this is seriously the first I've been really happy with a guy. But on the other hand I don't want to hurt my sister. I really don't know where to start in solving this?


Most Helpful Guy

  • You need to tell your sister that you never wanted to hurt her, and that you specifically asked her first to make sure it was okay, because you DO care so much about her. But she gave the okay, and now she's changing her mind, and you simply can't break up with a good guy for that reason. She needs to accept that she had her opportunity to stop this before you were attached, and didn't, and now it's too late.

    There are consequences to people's actions, and by her not saying how she really felt, now she has to deal with those consequences.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Raped? =/...

    But in general your sister needs to f*** right off.

    She gave you permission, she can't tell you to break up. If you cared about him you wouldn't even consider doing something so ridiculous.

  • You need to have a heart to heart talk with your sister. Tell her how this guy makes you feel. If she really liked the guy why didn't she make a move before he asked you out? it's unfortunate because you sister is being selfish with an "if I can't have him,no one can" mentality. If she is a good person she'll be happy for you.


What Girls Said 1

  • That's a tough one. But, sadly women rarely say what they feel, for fear that it is inconvenient/offensive to others--blame social conditioning.

    If this guy means that much to you, explain this to your sister and she should understand. But remember, guys come and go, family is forever. Don't let this hurt your relationship with your sis.

    • girls always say how they feel I don't understand what you mean.

    • I disagree with you. Girls, not all, are conditioned to be thoughtful in the way we answer people; especially people we care about.

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