They always have a girlfriend?

It always seems like every guy that I like or date or tries to date me ends up having a girlfriend. I'm not a homewrecker by any means. I never know until much later or after I start developing feelings for them that they have a girlfriend, or they get a girlfriend while I'm still talking to them. It never fails.. It just has happened to me so many times its starting to really f--- with me. Why are guys that have girlfriends the only ones attracted to me and why am I always the second choice?


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What Guys Said 1

  • You've identified a trend in yourself that is working against you. That's fine; you can't fix a problem until you can acknowledge and admit it. Now, you need to:

    1. Do some soul-searching and try to figure out WHY you are attracted to these guys and/or why they might be attracted to you.

    2. You need to start TALKING with guys that are interested in, and ask them up-front if they are single at the very beginning. Don't wait around to discover this later, when you're already attached, find out on Day 1! A big part of the dating process, and one that people try to skip over completely today, is all the discussions and "interviewing process" that helps you determine compatibility with a potential partner. The first 3-6 dates with any new guy should be focused on talking about all aspects of what he is looking for, what he wants from you, and his views and opinions on any issue that is or may be important in a relationship. Things like marriage, kids, family, money, religion, careers, where you'll live, etc. And making sure they're single should be among the very first things you ever ask.

    If you're getting burned over and over from the same thing, it's because you're LETTING it happen. So CHANGE, and create systems to prevent the problem from happening again.


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