Why are East Asian parents teaching their kids not to date foreigners?

This is just nothing more than hidden discrimination and racism. The children themselves are fully aware of how wrong this is but they won't challenge their parents out of respect. How can you respect this? Do the East Asians(Chinese, Japanese, Koreans) not know how bad it feels when some westerner rejects them due to their own heritage? There are a number of Asian instructors here in their 30's and 40's at my college and won't give a westerner any consideration but have waited over fifteen years or even longer for their race-specific man to come rescue them. Why? It just infuriates me. I get more than enough dating bigotry from American women as it is. I don't get it.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I used to not like Chinese girls but after going to China for a summer I have completely turned around my opinion of them. Now I almost want nothing else other than a Chinese girl or an Asian girl. A lot of it is because when I went to China I realized that my parents and family passed down to me a long and rich heritage that I know only a little since I was raised in America. I don't want to further walk away from my roots. If I bond with an American woman or a non-Chinese they will have no knowledge of the world my family and I came from. I am proud of being Chinese and I don't want to lose that heritage. I still like girls from every nation. Pretty girls are everywhere. But now I suddenly feel like our relationship would be hindered if they aren't familiar with the vast world my family came from. This is just kind of a personal revelation.

    My suspicion is that a lot of East Asians, especially Chinese ( the one I know best anyway ), have deep pride for their culture and will feel like it is thrown away if they marry outside their culture. Only Chinese sick with the same thing all the time and want something exotic will think differently.

    That isn't to say that other nations are inferior. I think girls everywhere are great, it's just more about keeping the heritage I think. But statistically speaking there will be a lot of people who will want something outside of their group. I'm thinking most cultures will have a balance of this kind of behavior for a long time because most cultures I think will want their people to propagate it still.

    • I hope you find a girl who will like you whether it be East Asian or not. If anyone is giving you crap, screw those guys! People who think so highly of themselves are the worst kind I believe.

    • Thank you for the best answer! Any progress so far buddy?

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What Girls Said 6

  • my parents were never like this. I've dated caucasian guys. my sister is married to a caucasian. so i dont really think it can be generalised as far as to say Asian parents are 'teaching their kids' to date their own race only.

    i did however grow up in a western country (australia) so that might make a difference..

  • 1) Many Asian girls are taught that a poor white man is better than a rich Asian man because there's a lot of self hating in the Asian culture. So for some, dating foreigners IS encouraged.

    2) Asians tend to stick to themselves generally speaking, because foreigners won't understand their language and culture. Not to mention, they often discourage dating outside of their ethnic groups. For a Korean to bring home a Chinese person, is like a Spaniard bringing home a Mexican person: it's a no-no socially speaking and considered down grading. If they're gonna date outside of their particular culture, they should date up. Koreans are to Asians what the Spanish are to Hispanics.

    3) Because western parenting and education differs. My roommate is Chinese, from China and she says her mom talks sh*t about American parents all of the time. American kids have no common sense, sit in front of the TV all day getting fat and whenever they receive a bad grade, the teacher is blamed.

    And you're right, this is common with A LOT of minorities. They're the first to cry racism when the white man won't kiss their Asian or Latino asses, but when they want to completely limit their dating pool, it's fine.

    Sure, while interracial marriage between Asian women/white men is common, it still isn't as prevalent as people think. And whenever Asian women hear a white guy say they prefer white women or Latin/black women, they flip and cry racism, because they're so used to this delusional idea that white men are kissing their asses

    Anyhoo, preferences are preferences. They might be hypocrites, but aren't we all

  • There won't be any language barrier and the culture will be easily passed down.

    Most don't want to go out of their comfort zone.

    My father talks sh*t about black people all the time and guess what? He married my mother, who happens to be black and had all mixed kids. *Face palm

    I have a black friend and they won't let me invite him over to play f***ing Dead Space with me! - But if he was Asian, then hell yeah invite his ass over. -__-"

    I don't even understand this myself sometimes but what I do know is my parents were ALWAYS strict and they put me through a lot too, but I still respected them even to this day and I always will. I know that every parent has their own way of raising their family.

    You're going to have to find Asian families that are more westernized.

  • Have you considered that maybe you're reading too much into this and that, being in their 30's and 40's and being single for over a decade, these particular women are just stuck in their comfort zone and possibly, just want to be single? I only say that because I have a hard time understanding how you would possibly understand the inner workings of the romantic feelings of your professors. Projecting a theory that makes you feel justified to reject them for rejecting you is comforting, but not necessarily helpful.

    People are entitled to set whatever dating limits they want. They're the ones who stay single, after all ... it doesn't keep you from getting a date, because if they wanted to date you - they would. Getting angry doesn't do anything except make you even less likely to get a date because your seething and anger spills into your habits.

  • Most people want their kids to keep the culture going. Why do people who rush to date outside their race get mad when other people choose to date theirs?

  • First of all, I think its a bit racist to think that all east Asian people are like that. I am Chinese, full blood, but my family's not like what you described. my parents don't force me on a career path, nor do they judge who I date. (apart from if its a really bad guy who does drugs)

    so, I think its only the 'authentic' or 'traditional' families who might still do this, but I believe many have already 'opened up' to westerners and their culture.

    and its a 'type' thing too, like some likes jocks, others prefer the more intellectual kind. its the same with races, some prefer westerns, others like asians. its not racism in my point of view.

    • oh cool you're Chinese? Same with me! How old are you if I may ask? I used to not like Chinese girls but after visiting China for three months I almost want nothing else!

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    • I don't think they're extremists, actually think they're common, I just don't think they're mean it in an offensive way. Actually I think that a lot of Chinese people really want to date outside their country, especially guys. I know of at least two or three Chinese adult friends who specifically wanted a white wife. I hear Chinese girls also are easier to get a date from than American maybe. My bro got a girlfriend the first week he went to China. I don't know I think there you can find one

    • yeah, well, everyone has their own preferences.

      i don't really know about the date thing, I guess in every race you get the easy ones are the harder ones, so, yeah :P

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