Confused about this unsure girl, help please?

Been talking to this girl for a bit, gotten some signs of interest back. by the way we're both seniors in HS

I talked to her in person Sunday and asked her to hang out Friday night, like go out for dinner to get to know each other and blabla. She said

"I'm not saying no, but I don't know my schedule for this week" so I took that as a 50/50 Yes/No answer.

Ok so it's Wednesday night and I'm texting her, we're having a good convo going, she's responsive as always. I decided to TEXT her:

"So did you come up with a decision about Friday night?" and she replied

"I think I'm doing something. I can't remember"

and I replied

"Ok, well feel free to let me know when you're available"

Obviously this girl is either flaky or not interested... but my question is what should my next action be?

she could genuinely be busy and ignoring her would equal "Ok he doesn't like me, onto this next guy I've been talking to" OR "ok he doesn't like me, time to go chase him"


  • Ignore her, let her come to you
    Vote A
  • Pursue her again
    Vote B
  • Other (Post what)
    Vote C
Select a gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
What also bugs me is that if you read her reply

"I think I'm doing something. I can't remember"

It's basically the same as

"No, not sure"

On the plus side she didn't say "I'm doing something, can't sorry"

But on the other hand she just gave me a "Not saying no, but I don't know" answer lol


Most Helpful Girl

  • This girl is using you for attention, someone to talk to when she is bored, but that is it.

    In the future, never say "Feel free to let me know when you're available". I understand why you said it, but remove that from your repertoire here on out. She would rather do something Friday night that is obviously so boring that she doesn't even know what it is than to accept a date with you? Puhlease.

    This girl is not interested. Keep this in mind: Yes means yes, no means no and maybe means...NO.

    • I'm also starting to see that it was a bad idea to say "Feel free to let me know when you're available"...

      I'm gonna do what the voters suggested and ignore her and see if she comes to me

    • Show All
    • Well technically she asked if I was mad at her for her response of "I think I'm doing something Friday night, can't remember" not "this rejection"

    • IMO this girl is saying what she needs to say to keep you on the hook, but not because she wants to date you or feels bad. Just because she is testing the waters to see how she can keep you on the hook for attention. If I were you, I would have told her I wasn't mad at her, I just didn't get how she would turn down a date with me for something she couldn't even remember. I would have texted that and then ignored her texts afterward until she apologized and asked to go out.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • "I can't remember" is really, really rude. If it's important, you should remember... or CHECK before you tell me "I can't remember."

    I'd let this one go, just because she seems immature to me.

  • i don't think she is into you


What Guys Said 3

  • This happened to be quite some times. It's typical for someone who is not interested, but is somehow afraid to tell the other person. So they keep twisting around the truth, and basically lying. If she really wanted to, she could find some time, like 30 minutes, or an hour for at least a coffee.

    I'd say you try again a week or so later, and if she comes up with similar excuses then forget about her. Don't expect her to come to you either.

    • What mainly annoys me is that she doesn't come outright and say a simple "I'm busy sorry"... it's like she's keeping her options open?

      Anyway I think my last text to her was appropiate, we will see if she approaches me or not.

      Do you think I should continue to be her friend and text her, maybe that will show some pursuit and make her interested?

      Or not text her and only give like half assed replies when talking in person?

    • Show All
    • Scoopie, you are right. A lot of people hate saying "No", so instead they beat around the subject and think if they are vague and avoid an answer the guy will eventually stop asking. Problem solved. Also, they can continue to be responsive either because they enjoy the attention or because they feel guilty and don't want to look rude so they text and chat, but that is as far as it will go. As you recognize, if someone is not interested, nothing will change that.

    • Yes, those could be the reasons. But, if it's because:

      - they enjoy the attention: it's selfish,

      - they feel guilty and don't want to be rude: well, guess what? It's rude after all!

      Please girls, say "No" if you mean no.

  • Dude, she's just not that into you. If a girl wants to go out with you, they say yes. That's all.

  • Give up buddy