Is he taking advantage of me? Or does he have commitment issues?

Ok, so I recently joined an online dating site, and began talking with this guy, we exchanged numbers. He texted me literally every day, initiated 80% of the conversations. Asked me out(week 2), we went on a date that went really well. Continued to talk every day (again mostly him) for a week. We both talked after the first date and said what a great time we had. He asked me out again, for coffee (3rd week of talking). This also went very well, continued the texts and talked twice a week over the phone, he wanted to see me again for a 3rd date, but I was out of town that week. Suddenly this past week (week 4), he texted me and essentially said that he was sorry but he wasn't as ready as he thought to be dating. He said that he had some major things going on in his life, and he had nothing to do with me. Also that he wasn't ready to be dating anyone, not just me. He told me he really cares about me and really likes me (he has told me he likes me at least 5 times at this point.

Early on he told me that he wasn't talking to anyone else, and didn't want to and how he said after he got my number from online, he had ceased answering any other messages (it's true, his profile says he hasn't logged on-still-since the day he got my digits).

So, I was pretty pissed, and felt led on and told him all of that, he said he was really sorry and that he really thought he was ready again, but he said it sort of hit him one day that he wasn't. I said we can still talk if he wants too, and just chat as friends. I also told him I am not waiting around for him and will date others. He said that was fine, but as soon as he feels ready he will tell me, "You will be the first to know". Anyway, he most recently has contacted me on two separate occasions, and it's been all friendly.

My question is this: Should I confront him about the texting, if he continues to text me pretty much every day? Is he taking advantage of me? Or...? I am just so confused with all of this. I know it wasn't me, I actually believe him when he told me he had some serious stuff going on. Or is he just afraid of putting himself on the line? He told me this was the first time he had felt like this in awhile. It is also the first time in awhile for me as well, I am 23 by the way and he is 24. He has a full time job, that was recently bought out, so I wonder if this sudden fear has anything to do with that and or his feelings towards me? Being this is the first time in a long time he has felt this way?

Should I demand more of this, if he continues texting me?

I really like him, probably the most I have liked a guy initially in quite awhile. The feelings were entirely mutual, or so I had been led to believe. I don't want to wait for him, but at the same time I sort of want to keep in touch but I know that may become confusing for me. Help please!


Most Helpful Girl

  • honestly as hard as it is it is smarter to cut him out. sure he could have backed out but a lot of times guys pull this sh*t so they don't have to commit to the girl.

    i hope this isn't the case but either way it is smarter not to talk to him. I am in a similar situation, I was dating casually this guy who I was CRAZY for and we had so much fun together and I really think I love the guy, I feel so deeply for him, but he is very emotionally unavailable and cannot give me the relationship I want. but. he still keeps in touch, I hear from him at least every week, and I think this is what makes it so hard to cut the string. if we had made a clean break and never spoken I would have healed my heartbreak much better, but I am stuck on him and I don't know how to stop being.

    so if a guy cannot give you the relationship you want, move on. do not make the mistake I did. I just saw him recently and we kissed and went out for coffee together and spent a few hours together, and he is still contacting me but not every single day and practically I know I should expect that but I love him so much I am in emotional pain sometimes. do yourself a favor and don't be like me. make a clean break. I have known this guy for months, it is easier for you because you just met him. you will be doing yourself good to eliminate him.

    see how much he keeps texting you. it seems like he is keeping you on the back burner. tell him you cannot talk to him unless he is ready to date again! stand up for yourself girl!


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