Why did he get so mad at me ? Did I upset him or is he just trying to get rid of me?

We met online. We got to know each other through email and text. We had a great connection. I know he felt it too. We both expressed how we are excited to meet each other. Our first date: It was GREAT. We went to dinner, shared a bottle of wine, had great conversations. I caught him staring in my eyes and smiling at times when I spoke. It was great. The place was closing so we went to leave and he asked me to go to his place. I said yes, knowing he wouldn’t try anything to make me uncomfortable. We drank more wine and talked even more. I had to get going so he walked me to my car. As I turned to say bye, he kissed me. It was amazing! He did ask to go back inside if I wanted. I said this is our first date and I have to get up early for work. He asked me to text him to let him know I got in safe. I did. I thanked him and told him I would like to treat him some time. He said it was his pleasure and he would love to be my guest. He asked, maybe Saturday? He said to get some sleep, sweet dreams, and we will hash out the details later. Then I screwed up. I freaked out. This is my first time dating and I had no idea I would find someone I connected with so fast. It scared me! I sent this message about how I am afraid that since that night something has changed. I asked if we could be friends. I said I would love to spend time with him, treat him to a night out, without all the pressures and apprehensions of dating. He texted back and said, you’re right. Too much pressure. Just relax. Let's go see a flick on Sat. I will come to you. (We live about 45 min away from each other). I said that would be great. He was nice in the text, but I could tell he was a little short. As time went on I noticed more distance from him. I started getting scared that I screwed up and texted a little more than I normally would during his work week. Friday my friends were asking me my plans. I texted him because I had a bad feeling and didn’t want to end up sitting home by myself on a Sat night. I said, hey, do I still get to take you out tomorrow evening or did I completely screw up with my stupid-ness (I don’t usually say things like this, but I knew I screwed up). He texted me this nasty text about how textx like this make him kind of wiry, my text message was passive aggressive, he DOES NOT play these games. That type of text is something his ex would do, so now he is really not looking forward to going out again. He said he is busy during his work week, and it seems like the more he can't text the more I want him to. From there it continued to get worse. I even apologized. He would text me back angry texts and he said that he is done. I am wondering what set him off. I don’t buy the “passive aggressive” bit because that is not true. Or was that just his way to get rid of me?

Ok. Well last night I did send him an email and I was very open and honest about it all. I figure at this point that is all I can do. I do believe that if he is anything like I thought he was, he will respond to that message. If not, then I guess I at least got it out and I was open and honest with him. That makes me feel better. We will see.

I sent the message late last night. Still no reply. Fingers crossed and thanks again for your responses.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • I don't think he was trying to get rid of you. I think he felt like you had a connection and perhaps was getting attached, and then got his feelings hurt when you said you just wanted to be friends.

    It sounds like he may have some insecurities from a previous relationship too.

    • That is what I am afraid of. After his texts I don't feel like I can contact him anymore. He did get pretty mean and angry. I try to just stop thinking about him but I don't know why I can't. Thank you for your response. I really appreciate it.

    • No problem, and good luck! I hope it works out for you.

What Girls Said 1

  • he is trippin,text him back,tell him to get over himself,it wasn't that serious and not to flip it on you because of his bad EX perience,tell him you do not appreciate being compared to his ex...dont apologize anymore,clearly he is the passive aggressive type

    • Thank you. It has been about a week since our last not so nice text message. Do you think that I should wait or text him tomorrow?

    • do whatever you feel,u have the right to feel good and he has totally made this so uncomfortable,some guys are just plain jerks