I should give up on dating, I know.

So here is some background... I am outgoing yet reclusive. I do theatre, improv, write, draw, sing. I do open mic nights, etc.

I feel like dating takes too much effort and time. There is a guy I was kind of interested in at work recently. I would I'm him at work. We seemed to get along, laugh, and all of that.

Then one day at lunch I noticed him outside, pacing, talking on the phone for 15 minutes. This happens at every lunch break now. I assume he has a girlfriend. I felt kind of disappointed. I stopped talking to him on I'm as much. I'm just a little more indifferent and a little more cold towards him now. Who knows? Maybe I could have liked him. I guess he's a friend at least.

Maybe I'm not girlfriend material.

I currently have blue hair because of my Halloween costume, and though I may be cute, I'm pretty sure guys just call me goof and quirky to put me down in some sort of way. I've noticed guys get distant with me because I don't act like a typical girl. But then later on, they wish they still knew me when I walk away and ignore them for months or years on end.

Right now there is a guy that likes me, but I have never liked him in that way. I feel bad actually. I am pretty moody/combative with him and I don't care how I act around him yet he still hangs around. I guess the people we WANT to like us, never do. That's just how it goes. ;-(

And then again, I feel stupid for posting this question here on GAG because there are so many more important issues going on in the world right now (i.e. hurricane recovery, economy, states petitioning to secede)


Funny world.

Sometimes I ask God why the world is so weird and confusing. I never really get a response. So I just shed a tear and go to sleep.

Any advice based on the glob of information I just spewed? I think none of this will ever make sense. It's just life.

I'm = "IM" as in "instant messenger." GAG changed it to "I'm" for some reason. :-[


Most Helpful Guy

  • Hmmm I certainly get your frustration. It can be so hard in the dating world. I could go on how you are pretty, how you are intersting, how I think you bring a lot, but that's probably not what you want to hear lol.

    Yeah, lol, there are big problems in this country, but that don't mean your problems are small, but not small to you.

    Just don't give up totally, and give into despair. Took me a long time, but I did it, I think you can too.

    • Yeah, I'm not looking for flattery. It's nice - sometimes overwhelming - but nice (when it's from someone you like, but even that scares me a bit.)

    • Flattery can mean nothing if its too much or the people you like flattering you won't ask you out.

      But I don't accept that there is no one out there that likes you. I bet there are many guys who will like you, blue hair and all, and your interesting personality.

    • You might be right. Maybe guys just don't notice me. I mean, being single isn't the worst thing at all. At least I don't have anyone to nag me! :) (Except, you know... family.)

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 5

  • The guy you liked, you said you assumed he had a girlfriend...did you confirm that assumption of are you still assuming it?

    Just be patient, like you said the people we WANT us to like never do (I believe that) because we try to be something we're not. But when you act normal and don't care about what people this then they like you so maybe you should stick to that.

    Don't give up, you're always going to have relationships that work and some that don't, it's an ongoing struggle but it makes you stronger and gives you experience.

    If you feel this way about not even dating the guy then you are going to survive when you actually have one and it doesn't work out. Stay strong and patient, it always pays off even when you think it doesn't

    • I am a strong woman lady girl. I know that much. I'm not afraid to speak up. Thank you.

  • You sound like an amazing girl. Honestly.

    I'd have to find you cute but, I'd sure as hell ask you out on a date if I had found out these things about you in person.

    You sound weird, but who the hell wants normal?

    • No one can ever tell me why I'm so weird. I also get a lot of "you're so normal's"

    • Show All
    • Like that one song, Existentialism On Prom Night. I can agree with that.

    • Hey, listen. Here's my philosophy, from someone who truly gets the game. I'm not emotionally dead, I'm not, not yet. But although I may be cynical, it's because deep down I'm still an optimist, more like a disappointed idealist. I live day to day expecting greater things from people, deeper thought, but I'm constantly failed. But I don't give up, because if I'm around, that means there are people like me who are also around. We just...have to trudge a bit more than others.

  • hmm you seem to be re-asking the same questions

    The world is what you make it. Enjoy life for what it is, it's simple really

    • Yes, yes I am. There are no answers! So it repeats.

    • Show All
    • ... what? I'm trying to help you...

      I give up, good luck.

    • Dude, I understand what you're saying. I AM SAYING... I will BE myself and screw it if a guy doesn't notice or care.


  • so what? at least you've had a boyfriend before, better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all

    • How do YOU know that information? *suspicious glare*

    • Show All
    • why should I believe I will find someone?

    • You have to, unless you don't want to. I have to believe as well. Faith that I will find a meaningful person/relationship is all I got.

  • You like what you can't have. Have more patience and be more open

    • I'm might be too patient sometimes. I do walk away rather quickly. Trying not to care is my natural reaction so I can live emotionless day-to-day. <3

What Girls Said 1

  • One can't be loved unless they believe they believe. They also can't be a girlfriend unless they truly believe it.

    Believing you're not girlfriend material will cause you to act like you're aren't. So in turn, you'll start doing things to prove to yourself that you're not girlfriend material. Others will read it as low self-esteem, moody, depressed, hard to read, etc. So they'll become distant. You have to remain approachable and just be cool with people. Put in the effort to understand guys, but try not to be the initiator all the time because that is read as clingy (like instant messaging them first every day, texting them first, trying to get them to hang out with you, etc). Yes, the guy is suppose to chase you otherwise you're doing the work for him and he'll lose interest very quickly. if they really like you, they will come to you but you have to trust that it will happen. In the meantime smile at the guys you're attracted to and be open for conversation. Do not reveal how you feel about yourself or self-doubt. You've probably gotten really comfortable with talking to them and ended up talking about yourself too much. So try to keep topics away from you about mutual interests or them. If you make them feel interesting and comfortable with you, you'll start getting liked by the guys you want.

    • Well, I am depressed. Been so all my life. But yeah, I agree with everything you said. Maybe deep down I just don't want a boyfriend. I'm trying to want one. Trying to be that somewhat naive girl I used to be 5 years ago.

    • I also don't want to come across as a girl who just smiles and laughs and that's it. I have opinions to share. Grrrr!

      Thanks courtney. :)