How do you get over a girl you're stuck on?

When you're stuck on a girl who you're not even dating. The reason I fell for her is because she's the first female to actually thInk I was funny and do flirty stuff like punch me when I teased her, give me compliments, adjust my clothes. She was in an ltr so I didn't bother with her too much, then she became single.

I went after her then because she continued the flirting. Let's just say despite all that she didn't seem overly enthused when I asked her out. We eventually went on a date, which was mediocre, but her attraction seemed to disappear overnight.

Ocassionally we talked after that,but went 6 weeks without mostly talking. Obviously I didn't want her if I never asked her again an vice versa. But with so few females in my life, I fixated on her mentally and emotionally.

Then one day, she and my friend and I went to lunch for an hour and by the end of it they were dating before my eyes. Making it worse my friend almost has the same personality as me, except he's more extroverted.

I spent the rest of the day crying, pathetic as it sounds, but it was cleansing and the next day I resolved never to worry about her again. But its hard to truly get over her since I see her all the time making goo-goo eyes at my friend and she doesn't hate me, just neutral, so I can't hate her and make it easier


Most Helpful Girl

  • Boy, oh boy… poor baby,

    I feel for you that you were crying, its not pathetic, it cleanses out the soul.

    You are in a very tricky situation here, have you told her exactly how you feel about her?

    Honestly is the best policy to get over her, tell her how you truly feel and it will help you emotionally detach yourself from her…or not.

    Seriously, I think you need to tell her, this feeling of you being fixated mentally and emotionally is a feeling that won’t go away unless you explain to her how you feel.

    I really think that she will appreciate your honesty.

    How do you know that she isn’t secretly feeling the same way for you and is too afraid to tell you because you might push her away.

    Honestly, I think her dating your friend is a way of getting your attention and making you jealous because she likes you.

    And you said it yourself, your friend has the same personality as you do...doesn’t that tell you something?

    So, its your decision, if you tell her the truth you might not be so stuck on her, or a new relationship will develop.

    She won't hate you, she will be thankful that you were out coming and straightforward about your emotions, chicks dig that. :)

    • like I said, I asked her out, even telling her I wanted to get to know her better. She wasn't too was more like "yeah...yeah". She didn't give me answer right away, took her a couple days. Then it took a month after that to actually go on the date, during which time she ignored me most of the time (and stopped flirting).

      The date itself...I felt I could have been anyone. She wasn't flirting. I tried putting my hand around her, etc., but she was unresponsive.

    • then she started telling me how she used to be in love with her ex and then told me about her guy friends that she's been hanging out with. After the date, we just ignored each other for the next 6-7 weeks. So, trust me, she isn't trying to make me jealous. My friend has the same personality, so she's attracted to that, but he's more extroverted, taller, and more handsome and gets more girls so he's almost like a better version of me.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • No one is a better version then you.

    Don’t put yourself down.

    There is only one of you, you are unique.

    I can honestly say maybe or perhaps you feel intimidated by your friend being more charming on the outside…

    but who’s to say he has the same qualities as you on the inside.

    I suggest that you work on your self esteem and boost up your confidence.

    Be positive, someone will come along… there is plenty fish in the sea.

    It seems she is too much of a snob for you, find someone down to earth that will appreciate your sensitive side.

    As you said before there few females in your life, what can I say… the right one will come along, give it time.

    Concentrate on yourself first you don’t need people saying "yeah...yeah" and not being pleased about you making an effort to get to know her.


What Guys Said 1

  • Sorry, what's your question exactly...? It sounds pretty over to me. What are you trying to stop doing?

    The reason you're fixating on her seems pretty simple, you said it yourself. She's the only girl you know who has been flirting with you, and you haven't met anybody since who has taken your interest. You just need to put yourself out there a bit more and soon enough somebody else will come along. It's a lot harder to move on when you don't feel that you have anything to move on to.

    If you like, you can also try writing. Just write your thoughts down about the relationship, completely honestly as they occur to you. You could also write a letter to her (not one that you ever show her, mind you) with the honest trust about how you feel and why you're letting her go, then burn it and let your feelings fade away with the letter. Might sound a bit silly but you'd be surprised how physically manifesting your feelings like that can help.

    Also, truthfully, it doesn't sound like you were that in to her anyway. You just liked the attention, you haven't actually mentioned anything about her or her personality that was appealing to you. I'm sure there's somebody that's a more fitting match for you than that.

    • She still comes up to me from time to time and says something like "you have such a great sense of humor" or something ad it makes me think things are still possible. That doesn't help things

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