Great first date, girl seems really enthusiastic, agrees to second date, but cancels and stops calling. Huh?

So, as the title says, I went on a great date with this girl. She was really enthusiastic, said she like me, and I was hot and the date went on a little longer than planned. Later on, she agreed to a second date.

A few days before, she had to postpone the date.

I saw her again couple of times again and she seemed really friendly approached me. But then, she just stopped calling.

Question: Was she just not interested from the beginning? Or, is it more likely that I did something wrong later on? Are there any other reasons why she could have done this?

Even if I do move on, I want to be sure that I don't make the same mistakes with the next girl. So, any input would be great.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Well she does sound pretty flaky. I'm thinking she could fall under one of these categories:

    - She's truly not interested and is just trying to be nice when she sees you. But doesn't tell you because she is afraid of hurting your feelings.

    - She likes you, but just has a hard time following through with things. Flakey people can be difficult to understand at times. One minute they are calling and taking to you and everything is fine. However, the next day they drop off the radar and are cancelling plans. She could just be really bad at managing her time and keeps forgetting about previous engagements.

    - She likes you, but is just really busy.

    What I would do instead of trying to figure out what she thinks is to just ask her. I know it can be hard to do, but call her, or meet up with her and have a conversation. See how she feels about things and whether she wants to keep seeing you. If she does want to continue seeing you, great. Hopefully she can keep her word and not postpone any more dates.

    If she doesn't, well at least you found out now and can move on. The best thing to do when you are meeting someone and trying to get to know if they are relationship material is to also go out with other people. Keep your options open until you know for sure. If you want to get to know someone more and want to pursue more serious stuff with them, then you need to initiate the conversation and make it clear.

    It can be hard when you haven't made things official and are just seeing each other. She could very well be seeing someone else. I know that might be hard to hear but unless it's clear that you two are official then you have no claim. You don't have to play the field and just go crazy meeting other people, but just treat it as a hangout to get to know someone better. Go on an official date if you think there is potential.

    • I get that there was no claim. I can completely understand that. but the drop was just without warning. I had bumped into her once or twice, but we were both busy at the time and couldn't chat. After that was when she stopped calling or texting.

    • I tried calling and giving her space. But I'm guessing she just wasn't that interested or liked someone more.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • You weren't the only guy she was dating

    • Could you give a little more info? If you were seeing more than one person then picked one, would you admit to the other person that you were more interested in another person?

    • Probably not if I hardly knew him and went on 1,2.dates with him

    • Ok. Fair enough.

      I just think if someone's clearly interested and not taking a hint you just say that you're not interested. It's what I do because it's better than having someone texting or calling desperately.

What Guys Said 2

  • To add to what Darkfairie said, she could have also been dating another guy at the same time and he beat you to the punch. I've had a number of girls admit to me that they date two or more men at once until they pick one.

    • I can understand that. But I just don't understand completely dropping of off the face of the earth. I'll take the hint eventually, but I think it would be easier/ less time consuming if people were upfront with each other about that sort of thing.

      Thanks for your input.

    • I've experienced the same issue. Once I even had a girl later admit that she dropped off the face of the earth after we dated for four months that she was seeing another guy because the two of us weren't exclusive yet. If you live in a large metro area where women have lots of options, especially with online dating, you can almost bet they are seeing multiples. As a man, I suggest you see multiples as well until you want to lock it down and the girl agrees.

  • She likes you, she just liked someone else more.

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