Is it bad to be young and on datings sites?

I had a girl introduce us at our church June of 2011. She was young, and immature at the time, which I wasn't aware of. She threw me under the bus online, and left me high and dry for a guy who claimed to know me that fall. She really did a number on me. I've been stable for a few months now, and I've moved back home with my folks temporarily. I've gotten a few accounts with some dating sites for young adults and college students both. Unfortunately I have to see the ex girlfriend every Sunday at church which is an obstacle in itself, but I've been blowing her off. I haven't ever had much luck with the dating sites, so I'm not sure if it's embarrassing or not. I've seen several girls I'd love to date but I go genuinely care for the ex girlfriend. She's young and defensive and shallow, but I'm working on focusing on myself. I'm just wondering how I should perceive this?


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What Girls Said 1

  • I'm confused on the last 3 sentences here.

    I would tell you that if you do date other people it will help you get over the ex.

    If she is young and immature move on and just chalk it up to growing pains!

    • I get frustrated because she had us introduced and I put so much work and effort, and the guy she left me for was a real winner. She talks, like I'm beyond an afterthought, which does add salt to the wound. She tries to linger around but I'm improving. I'm trying to look around, but the girls I have gone for in the past don't give me the time of day or "are out of my league"

    • Show All
    • Cheated?

    • A lot of my friends and acquaintences had friended her on fb when she and I were official on there. Some males were texting her and I wasn't aware of it. The coward was one of them and I barely knew who he was. She left me and got with him 2 days after. She was 18 then, and he lived in the college town 60 miles away. I consider it cheating because they "had been talking" a while, not to mention she didn't even give me a fair chance since she showed me one side of her.

What Guys Said 1

  • It sounds like you don't exactly know what you want. On the other hand as you said the girl did a number on you, so getting a few dating site accounts isn't embarrassing at all. But on the other hand you genuinely care for the girl, so looking at the dating sites seems pointless, I mean, before you even consider dating any other girls, you really should get you head in order. If you really care for the girl then either get rid of those feelings and move on or try and get the relationship running again. Your choice, but having feelings for a girl while you are trying the dating game isn't smart and could quite likely bite you and the girl you might end up trying to date and that won't be fun for anyone.

    • You make some good points. I do care for the girl but she needs to mature some. I hate that she's big and bad behind a text and computer screen, but won't talk to me in person or over the phone. She tries justifying herself but I've done more then my share to work it out with her. The ball is in her court there, so I'm trying to improve me and work on myself. I've been working out since late September to build my frame, and that's helped too but I've been wanting something serious for a while

    • It's a good thing that you are doing that and I think it was a good move to give her some time to think. But remember you have to draw a line for that time or you might end up waiting for her forever. Continue what you are doing now and don't try to push for an answer, but if you don't get anything for a while or her demenour keeps the same, just move on and forget, because there is no need to go waisting your potential on a girl like that.