Howto: Re-Establishing Friendship and Trust With a Girl?

Okay this is a complex situation and it all unravelled in the passed week. This passed summer I dated this girl right before I moved to another town to take a job in car sales. She would've rather had me going to school than doing this. There was quite an age gap between us but we really hit it off and started dating. My own insecurities caused problems with the relationship once I moved though to the point she asked me to back off for a while. So I waited nearly a month to contact her again, which was around the middle of October.

When I contacted her again, she was glad to hear from me and promptly called me back. For some strange reason I waited a little longer to start contacting her again, until around November when I decided I was going to move back a few weeks ago... I surprised her and told her I was returning to school in the Spring and that I was coming back for her. Upon hearing that she told me she was dating someone and has a boyfriend now.

When I found out who the guy was I was relieved because she had been kicking this guy to the curb while I was dating her. So she saw him as a friend, but apparently he had a chance to move and fill the space I left behind. I felt it was the biggest mistake to leave in the first place after I have come to realize what I have lost.

When I got back and returned... we've been communicating for the last couple weeks but I've completely blown it again with my insecurities, this time, ten times worse than before...

She told me to leave her alone and quit texting her a few times, but I kept on texting her... after a few days, and she was friendly with me. I sent her a letter and a poem and she liked them but the texting really hurt our situation. It was too easy for me to send my thoughts (when feeling insecure) through texting and it wound up to the point that she has asked me to stop talking to her until I fall in love with someone else. I went from hearing her say that we would date again, if it didn't work out with the guy she's dating right now, to telling me that she doesn't want me to talk to her until I find someone else to fall in love with...? I think she said this in the heat of the moment, when our texting conversation broke down because of hurt feelings. She claimed that I made her cry...

That was the last of it. I haven't talked to her since last Monday when she asked me to leave her alone and quite talking to her, until I met someone new...

Here's where I feel like a monster, my insecurities have gotten the best of me. :( I texted her twice on Tuesday. Once on Wedneday... skipped Thursday.. sent one text Friday.. and one today that was pertaining to the fact that I have a gallery in Santa Fe wanting to commission my art... It was a generic text that I sent out to a few people, not just her but I wanted her to know the good news. She hasn't responded since last Monday.

Is there any hope for us to still be friends, even after I've crossed the boundary like this? Is all hope lost!? :/


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What Girls Said 1

  • It sounds like she isn't interested at all, and the more you push yourself on her it will only annoy her. Not sure of just how big the age gap is, but that usually causes a problem. I would completely leave her alone, if she wants a friendship she knows your number!


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